Not your average divorce

[AlwaysStrong]

I now have a feeling he will either be super deflated tomorrow or angry....I just received an email from my attorney that is a court order stating that I have been awarded $5700 in attorney fees due within 30 days or it will accrue interest monthly. I am beyond excited to say the least. But no matter what, I will make sure to be super on guard and aware of his mood and actions tomorrow.

[hhaw]

Congrats and wowsers,  AlwaysStrong.

That's wonderful news.

Do keep an eye on the PD. 

Stay frosty.

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

 

[JustKeepTrying]

This may be late - but here is a technique that I recently learned - I am attaching the pdf worksheet. 

Not in the directions but under the direction of the therapist - is that you limit the entire exercise to thirty minutes.  If you don't finish in 30, put it aside and come back the next day.  The imagine portion can be intense and after using this a few times now I can understand the time limit.

I used this recently for talking to my sister about a trauma in the past and my PTSD diagnosis.  I felt more calm and prepared for the situation.  While the event did not follow what I imagined, I was better prepared.

I hope it helps.

https://www.sharp.com/hospitals/mesa-vista/programs/upload/Cope-Ahead.pdf

[AlwaysStrong]

This may be late - but here is a technique that I recently learned - I am attaching the pdf worksheet. 

Not in the directions but under the direction of the therapist - is that you limit the entire exercise to thirty minutes.  If you don't finish in 30, put it aside and come back the next day.  The imagine portion can be intense and after using this a few times now I can understand the time limit.

I used this recently for talking to my sister about a trauma in the past and my PTSD diagnosis.  I felt more calm and prepared for the situation.  While the event did not follow what I imagined, I was better prepared.

I hope it helps.

Thanks soo much for that information. So far I feel like I am handling this really well but Im sure there will come a day when everything will hit. The day went alright for the most part. He hid in the bedroom with the dog and my father was able to come inside while the neighbor and his mother followed us around. He has hidden a total of approx $75k worth of assets that were clearly supposed to be appraised per the court order. Ironically I have photos of nearly everything from before as well as photos of everything missing from yesterday. I can't believe he would hide that much when just the day before he was ordered to reimburse my attorney fees for lying about the cancer. So I spent the evening making a list of everything either missing or tampered with to present to the judge. That along with the lack of paperwork he turned in for discovery may just cost him another lawyer.

Once I left I received a message from the neighbor. Even after seeing the court ordered reimbursement paperwork and medical subpoena responses showing there has never been any kind of treatment she still is doubling down. She said that nobody can fake being that sick for that long and that she has seen the radiation marker tattoos on his stomach. That made me pause...is he drawing them on with a fine point sharpie or has he actually tattooed them on. Could do it himself or just go into a tattoo shop and say he was getting them to show support for a friend that is battling cancer. Either way, that is taking things to the extreme and is obviously super unbalanced. I responded with asking why he would not simply make a 5 minute phone call to his doctor to have documentation or proof sent to my lawyer to at least not have to pay $5,700? 5 minutes to save nearly $6k....seems like a nice trade to me. Then I suggested maybe she should ask him to make that call. Of course, no response lol.

I also noticed that while walking through I was more focused on what we needed to appraise so we could get in and out as quickly as possible. The last room was the bedroom since he had to clear himself and the dog out. Once I was finished I turned and opened my old closet door. Backtrack to when we first met and I didn't have much money. I found a 40s waterfall dresser but couldn't put it out in the bedroom because he said it didn't match the other bedroom furniture and he didn't like that style so I put it in my closet. When I moved out, I took that with me. So when I opened the closet, I expected it to be empty like when I left but instead I found a nearly identical waterfall dresser where my old one stood. Then while watching the footage from my body camera, I saw that he replaced all of the few items I took with nearly identical pieces and again, most of them he didn't really like. I cant tell if he is trying to say "see, I miss her that much" to those who believe him or if he is seriously that off mentally.

After doing some more reading I have also come to the conclusion that he falls 100% under the description of Munchausen syndrome or the new clinical name of Factitious Disorder. Not sure how I feel about that considering the extreme nature of everything else but I guess it is what it is and I just have to ride this out.

[hhaw]

Whew, that went as well as it could have, me'thinks.

Congrats on having an attorney unafraid to ask for attorney fees when the stbx expands the legals.  I found most of my attornyes didn't want to or didn't think it was possible to get them or whatever... I finally had to BEG my last attorney to include an ask for my legal fees and lo and behold.....
I received every
single penny I could prove.

Keep asking for legal fees.... sounds like your Judge unerstands and is willing to continue punishing the PD, woo hoo!  That should be the end of the PD pulling stunts like that, but then.... he's broken beyond repair and unable to correct or he already would have.

He can't.

Seems to be working for you in splendid fashion so far, Always Strong.

  I think the stbx is replacing your items with the same items, bc he misses you and doesn't know what in the world he'd put in their place.  Same with you..... I don't think he has any understanding for replacing you or what that might look like, hence the ruse and unproductive, self sabotage on his part.

Well done.  I'm so glad stbx hid in the bedroom the entire time.

As for the willfuly ignorant neighbor.... she's getting something out of buying the PD's stories.  She might like to gossip or think the worst of you bc she's jealous or you're a better person than she is or it;s an easy virtue signal..... very little energy invested.

You likely can't provide enough evidence to convince neighbor she's wrong, bc she wants to believe the pd's story.  It's her loss, not yours.  I'd stop trying to convince her if it was me, bc dealing with those people always leads to feeling depleated and frustrated.....never better.

[Poison Ivy]

I'm relieved things went okay, AlwaysStrong.

[JustKeepTrying]

So glad you are safe and it went ok.   You got this!