He’s “trying to change”. Help!

[Joga]

Mogwaidelegate, I'm with you about the FOTY routine. It's absolutely the worst. And especially when kids who are starved for their dads attention suddenly get it and then want nothing to do with the stable parent who is dependable and always present. But we know that it never lasts. They can't keep up FOTY forever. I do fear my kids wanting to be with their dad when they are teenagers, but I have to trust that they are smart enough to figure him out and still stay connected to me.

As for being a single mom, I am scared of the difficulty of things like having sick kids and nobody there to help in an emergency (that's one thing my H is somewhat helpful with), but overall I'm hoping that the peace is worth it. And at least I will have calm evenings to myself after the kids are in bed without him pawing at me when I feel zero attraction to him because he was a jerk all night.

[Joga]

Can I just say that life as a single parent isn't nightmarish. It's hard work because you have to do everything and most single parents have money issues but it's infinitely preferable to parenting with a PD in the house. Also, it's better for the kids. Much, much better. Sending hugs, courage and determination.

Thanks Boatbabe! Agreed! It's going to be really hard, but peaceful and so much less chaos.

[Joga]

Can I just say that life as a single parent isn't nightmarish. It's hard work because you have to do everything and most single parents have money issues but it's infinitely preferable to parenting with a PD in the house. Also, it's better for the kids. Much, much better. Sending hugs, courage and determination.

Thank you for sharing this, BB. There is a general cultural attitude (and even moreso in Evangelical Christian circles) that divorce is completely catastrophic, and completely destroys the kids' lives. I'm thankful for people on this forum who provide a reality check to that kind of messaging. It gives hope to people like me.

Joga, way to go moving forward on your plans and getting a job! I look forward to further updates.

Yes user! It is so sad how some women stay in abusive situations because they are taught by religion to keep the family together at all costs. My own mom used to encourage me to pray that my husband would have a great spiritual awaking and God would change his heart. I told her there was no way that would work. That's why I'm so glad she witnessed one of his PD abusive episodes. Now she understands that divorce is necessary.