NC when they are elderly ad beginning to have major health issues

[The Butterfly Effect]

I can only speak for my family, but many of the PDs in my family have "serious health problems" to the point where they have been supposed to die for over 20 years. Like your mother, their health problems are very vague, with very few details and no formal diagnosis. They also like to mention and point fingers at lots of people for their "health problems" for guilt purposes. It's mostly for manipulation and guilt-tripping.

Personally, I think that the lack of details about your mother's surgery and health problems is a red flag

I totally agree re emotional manipulation and guilt tripping.

My mother has convinced herself she is dying of something  for the past 30 (at the very least!) years. She's into her 80s and still going strong. However, she gets a real attachment to other peoples illnesses and before you know it, she makes their diagnosis about her. Sucking up the attention and the 'kind thoughts'' of people. Crazy!  When I've been in hospital for serious health issues, the support has been redundant. I eventually stopped sharing my health status with her.

The health dramas sound like the proverbial emotional blackmail bait. Drama + attention  = attention and fuel.

[The Butterfly Effect]

Hi all.  So I vanished from here again.  The past 2 times I've posted, it's been so triggering of my CPTSD that I couldn't bring myself to check back in or reply.  That's a totally new reaction for me and I have no clue what it's about.  Has anyone else experienced this?

you're not alone Sidney. I find it triggering to post and read experiences BUT I also find posting and reading posts validating.  I know that I have buried my emotions over the years, the rejection the anger... The emotional burn out is real. We post for the release and to make sense of our turmoil, to hopefully be heard/understood but this takes a great degree of effort and toil on our mental/physical well-being.  It's important to nourish yourself with peace and love. Processing trauma is hard and that's why self care is paramount