Sure he likes things to be screwed up

[p123]

There's an old psychology book called Games People Play by Eric Berne. We all play various "games" with each other, but PDs seem to make it a sport. And a common favorite seems to be the "Yes, but..." game.

Person 1 presents a problem. "Gee I miss my newspaper."
Person 2 offers a solution. "There are other delivery services available, I'm sure."
Person 1 comes up with a "reason" why that solution can't be done. "Yes, but that'll be too expensive."
Person 2 offers an alternate solution. "There are online subscriptions for less money."
Person 1 has yet another excuse for why it won't work. "Yes, but I don't know how to do any of that!"
And on and on, repeating until, like you, Person 2 stops offering solutions.

And I think Sneezy nailed why they play/what they get out of it. They love the feeling of you "worrying" over them and their problem. And they also feel a sense of triumph when you fail to solve the problem, because it proves what a terrible, inextricable position they're in.

So so true. Very recent example that I may have mentioned in past posts.  Speaking to waif uBPDmum on the phone. She tells me that she just sits at home and states at the wall. I again remind her that there is a senior citizen club literally over the road from her. They offer a really wide range of activities that cater for all levels of accessibility and interests. I look at what's on offer and think "mmm. I'd do that" it's cheap as it's subsidized. Mum immediately gets angry that I should once again suggest this insane solution to her boredom and loneliness. First objection is it's too expensive. It isn't and I offer to pay for anything she fancied doing. She moves to second objection, the killer one "There's nothing that interests me"  she wails.  I am gonna start using "Suit yourself".   Hope that helps P123.

Yep same here. Exactly the same. Moans for the sake of moaning but will do nothing to help himself.