Interesting therapy session….

[Liketheducks]

Trees.....I wholeheartedly agree.   Your post reminded me of an interesting interaction I had with MY mother over the holidays.   She was hellbent on doing things a certain way.   We have some very specific foods and meals over the holidays.   Think like a seder.    And, NO ONE....I mean....not a single family member likes these dishes prepared in this way.   For religious reasons, the meal is prepared very differently and doesn't have things like dairy or meat. 

I was hosting and I decided I was going to prepare these dishes the way people liked to eat them.   With butter and meats.   My family isn't at all religious.   They were two generations ago, but they aren't now.   It was a real struggle for mom.   I wasn't "doing it right".   I was diluting the traditions.    I reminded her that when I was a young child this meal was served with shots of vodka between each course which resulted in all the men staggering to midnight mass and then having a fist fight in the front yard.   Some traditions NEED to change for the better.     Eventually, I said....Mom...I know I'm going straight to hell....but we're doing it my way.

[treesgrowslowly]

That tradition with getting drunk and fighting is such a perfect example of how some traditions need to change for the better!!

My grandparents generation has heeps of unresolved trauma. Clinging to the recipes from the past is something they all did as well. Thankfully, in my case a lot of the food was delicious, so that would motivate me to use their recipe because it was tasty stuff. Not so enticing to keep making a dish tied to a culture when no one likes to eat it anymore. Good for you for making food that people would actually enjoy eating!

Trees