I’m new. I’m confused.

[Winifred Banks]

Hi as I already mentioned I'm new here, and I'm so confused. At a loss even.
I'm a mother of four adult children, and one of my male children I think, is an undiagnosed person with narcissistic personality disorder.
I've come to the realization (today) that I was in fact, his flying monkey. Always making excuses for him. Always asking people to understand him. Always being the bridge in his family relationships, and making excuses for his behavior.
Over the past 3-4 years I've changed my approach and tolerance of his unkind words, his rude behavior, his constant victim/hero complex, and his altered memory of the past. I've also grown tired of being tolerant, understanding, and disrespected. I just can't anymore.
The change in me has brought out more anger in him, more resentment, anger, disrespect, and blame all flowing in my direction.
My son has two children I adore, and he is now using them as weapons. I'm aware I'm being punished for not agreeing with him or allowing his bad behavior anymore, but at the same time I'm struggling. He's my son, my heart is saying I love him so much, and my brain is saying stay the course.
At this point I need all the help guidance, ideas I can get.
Thank you in advance to anyone taking the time to read my words and respond.

"Winifred Banks

[Rebel13]

Hi Winifred,

I'm not a parent, so I will leave more specific replies for those who are. I just wanted to say, welcome, and I'm sorry you are struggling.

Here is a thread with another mom dealing with some of the same issues you are.

Wishing you the best.