Disturbing story

[Pinkos]

@WOBG I completely understand why you felt unsupported and thank you for providing more context. I'm wondering if your therapist got sidetracked by your characterization of your friend's behavior as narcissistic? It seems like she doesn't agree with that. Although I'm not sure why she felt the need to press the point. But to take it a step further and insinuate you are overreacting/oversensitive because of your history with your FOO is out of line imo!! Forgive me and disregard if I've misunderstood but if I am correct then this is undermining and harmful for a therapist to do. I believe you are already planning to address this with her at your next session and I completely support that move.

[walking on broken glass]

@BreatheDeep,

These are all helpful questions, thank you!
Yes, we did explore that. The main reason I went to therapy over more than a year ago was to deal with my family's scapegoating me. There is a long family history where my voice is minimised, ignored or twisted, and I recently went NC with my whole family. So all this is very familiar and my reaction is definitely amplified by all this experience - this is fair to say.

@Pinkos,
I don't know whether she wanted to justify my friend to me but this is how I perceived it. And she did say 'I am not saying you are overreacting' but I wonder why she would bring up the idea. She also asked me if I have sympathy with the friend and said 'it's ok if you don't'. But again I wonder why the question was asked. I will express all this next time I see her but right now it's every two weeks which feels like a long time to wait and I am stewing! But writing here has helped me elucidate what it was that bothered me exactly.

[walking on broken glass]

In the past when you've reached your limit you tried to pull away...she chased after you...you felt guilty and continued to engage. The same thing is happening now, no

Also, this is very helpful reframing! You are right, this has happened before, I just didn't react so strongly to it and I was drawn back in by my friend's insistence and the guilt I felt to stop interacting.

[hhaw]

WOBG....can you see yourself, reporting your friend's bf...to the police for trafficking?

That's all my gut wants to do, as I read through your situation.

You can't save your friend from herself.

You might be able to help other women, if you think you can, or should.

[Catothecat]

You know the old "quote" about Freud saying sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?  I think your therapist is over-reaching.  She wants to integrate this issue into previous discussions about the behavior of your family and make the two somehow related.  Maybe they are, but maybe they aren't.  Maybe the friend's behavior is simply bad behavior on her part, period.  While it may help to analyze your reaction, it doesn't help to put a judgement on it, and it sounds like this was what she was trying to do. She was asking you very leading questions and, to me, only muddying the waters. She also doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that, yes, some people can be very manipulative, they can read a situation and react to it in a way where they will benefit.  Of course, your friend isn't there in the room so can't speak for herself, and a decent therapist won't just take what you say about someone else at face value.  But I think you've more than made your case.  Her reaction isn't helping and actually seems to be hindering your progress with this issue.