New Here - So Confused - Verbal abuse??

[CleverFox]

Not sure if this would trigger you, but I go back to one of the moments my uNPDw was at her worst. Then I try to put myself back into the situation and how I felt during that episode. Then all my guilt is gone.

Yes! I have recordings of him raging out so I listen to them to remind me why I'm leaving. I'm super scared to leave but I know my kids can't hear this stuff.

[Poison Ivy]

One drawback of looking to other people's abuse experiences is that there always will be ones in which people experienced less (or no) abuse but still ended the relationship and ones in which people experienced more and worse abuse but didn't end the relationship. IMO, you shouldn't make your decision to leave based on other folks' experiences.

[CleverFox]

One drawback of looking to other people's abuse experiences is that there always will be ones in which people experienced less (or no) abuse but still ended the relationship and ones in which people experienced more and worse abuse but didn't end the relationship. IMO, you shouldn't make your decision to leave based on other folks' experiences.

Yes you're totally right

[1footouttadefog]

Don't feel obligated to stay because he is nice.

Nice should be the default.  The cashier at the grocery store is nice, the bank teller is nice, the landscaping guy who mows the yarddown the street is nice, the guy who take your order at McDs is nice.

He should be more than nice, he made vows stating as much.

[CleverFox]

Don't feel obligated to stay because he is nice.

Nice should be the default.  The cashier at the grocery store is nice, the bank teller is nice, the landscaping guy who mows the yarddown the street is nice, the guy who take your order at McDs is nice.

He should be more than nice, he made vows stating as much.

That is so true. Now I don't even care if he's being nice because the horrible things he's saying to me other times is really starting to damage me. Over and over that I don't do anything for him, that I'm not a real wife, that I treat him badly because I sat down when my friend was here, that I'm only half a wife because he leaves the state every two weeks for work and I can't move him and my two youngest to that state bc I have a son from a previous marriage that I won't leave behind. I have a plan coming up here towards the 1st but thinking about it is making me physically ill. Staying makes me physically ill. Everyday I'm so horrible. I'm exhausted.

[Poison Ivy]

Please, if you haven't already, contact an organization that helps people affected by domestic abuse.

[CleverFox]

Please, if you haven't already, contact an organization that helps people affected by domestic abuse.

Hi! I have a plan that is supposed to kick off here towards the 1st. I haven't called any organizations or anything. I haven't been hit so I'm not too sure what exactly to say.

[Poison Ivy]

I suggest that you visit the website of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. And again, the fact that your partner has not hit you does not mean that he is not abusing you.

[CleverFox]

I suggest that you visit the website of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. And again, the fact that your partner has not hit you does not mean that he is not abusing you.

Ok thank you!