I've written about my being an introvert, I now think its not totally inherited

[Blueberry Pancakes]

My family are all extroverts. Sometimes I think I went the other way because I did not like them. My mom called me a "wallflower" and told me to push myself to meet others which just made me feel belittled. I really hated it when others would notice me sitting in a loud room and instead of striking up a conversation with me, they would just state "you're so quiet". Really, how is that an appropriate way to approach anyone? I would usually just feel awkward and annoyed, which is not a great way to feel in social situations.   
         
When I was in 4th grade my teacher wrote on my report card how I looked at other kids like they were "silly" and did not interact. I was sort of proud because I thought it might be a sign I was intelligent, but instead my mom kept it and would bring it out and read it to me through the years whenever she thought I needed to be coaxed out of being so shy. She used it as a bad thing. It is no wonder any kid would withdraw. Today I sort of feel like those behaviors from others are a personal attack.
 
I believe there is power in understanding and embracing being an introvert. Nothing needs to changed or fixed about you. You are great just as you are. I think it is just about how you use your energy and replenish. I think if you also identify with being a highly sensitive person (which I do), you can be especially depleted by loud noises, overwhelming demands or chaotic environments.

[Jolie40]

I believe there is power in understanding and embracing being an introvert. Nothing needs to changed or fixed about you. You are great just as you are.

I also see being an introvert as a positive
we can be by ourselves & enjoy being by ourselves
it seems like I never get bored & can always find something to do by myself

one of my siblings has a friend who she talks with on the phone everyday
the friend has a husband who works 2 jobs & the friend can't seem to cope being alone!
she calls my sibling ALL the time to go to lunch, dinner, shopping or something
my sibling says "well, she's lonely"

[Call Me Cordelia]

All these posts resonate with me. I'm also an introvert, shy too, most of the time. I've come to believe that some is inherited, but much of it was born of fear and a desire to escape getting into trouble and the inevitable yelling and "spankings". I had no grownups I could really trust with my deepest thoughts and feelings. So I think I learned to just keep my heart to myself. Sharing wasn't safe.

Yes, this, exactly. I would definitely hide in my room or with my nose in a book just to stay out of dad's way. Definitely better than beatings. I was in a catch-22 of "You must be absolutely perfect in every way so that I cannot find any fault with you whatsoever. But if I feel like finding fault with you I'll totally make something up," and, "Oh my gosh you're so self-conscious! Stop being so self-conscious it makes you weird and people will think you're weird and you'll embarrass me!" Surprise, I had socially awkward ways around my peers and they... were not kind about it. The only way to win was not to play. I still feel more introverted than not, but now it's more of a way of being myself in the world and less of a survival strategy. I think it's perfectly natural to feel shy and self-protective in a threatening situation. What makes it so de-formative of our personalities is that EVERY situation was threatening!

When I was in 4th grade my teacher wrote on my report card how I looked at other kids like they were "silly" and did not interact. I was sort of proud because I thought it might be a sign I was intelligent, but instead my mom kept it and would bring it out and read it to me through the years whenever she thought I needed to be coaxed out of being so shy.

Wow, same as with me, the approach is let's shame you out of your shyness! That should work a treat! That's absolutely terrible, Jolie. And bringing out one comment from fourth grade years later as if it's still pertinent? Wow, holy fixed mindset, Batman!

That said, of course, my mother would pull shit like that as well. She brought up how one time in seventh grade I acted like I was fishing for a "date" to a dance, which she way exaggerated even at the time, but as I was leaving for college she very seriously warned me not to do that. Her one burst of social awareness and she was going to make hay of it. Thanks for believing in me, Mom! I have learned a few things in the last six years. Unlike some.

[Iamenoughmary]

Just getting back on this topic.  Thank you Cordelia, Butterfly Rainbow, Blueberry Pancakes and jolie40. I love reading everyone's take on being an introvert.  It all resonates!  My mom also tried to shame me out of my shyness, even into my older years. She would point out I was so different. I realized later on she was wanting me to be just like her!  Oh my gosh...noooo!   She is so extremely extroverted and adores herself   I do believe our parents, in my case my mom had something to do with it..  I always told myself heck no, I'm never being like her, so I fought hard to be the opposite.

What you've said about your moms makes me see a link in that we didn't like how they were and we made a choice to not be that way. I'm sure some is just born in us.  I'm sorry your moms treated you so awful.  I could never tell my children they need to be anything other than who they are.

I remember once I was working at a local resort. Mom decides she'd get a job there too.   She would say to the other workers "shes nothing like me"   and I'd think 'Thank God' !!   I didn't go back to that job the next summer

My family are also all extroverts, even my in laws.One of my brothers is kinda quiet, but he has tons of friends. I like a small circle and now its become really small. I don't care because I have embraced who I am. This life goes by so fast and peace and calm matter so much now.  I used to try to fit in but have no desire to anymore.

There's so much here that's helpful and I thank each of you.    It is so wonderful to connect to other introverts. I agree we must embrace who we are. I also love the links. Thank you SOT!

Have a blessed day everyone