My dad died last week

[walking on broken glass]

I'm not really wanting to talk to my mom regarding stories about him.

I think this is wise and fully understandable. I have no wish to talk to my mum about my dad, even a year later! The point is to have a conversation with someone who wants to exchange stories in order to get mutual support, not to antagonise you or prove a point.

Edited to add: I am not sure if that would be helpful at or if you feel comfortable with it, but you can share some stories with us here, as an alternative.

[Sojourner17]

Thanks wobg,   maybe I will be able to come up with someone who I can do that with.   



I just realized what your handle reminded me of.  Now I have the chorus of the song playing in my mind.   

[Rebel13]

I still don't know what to think about that.  I feel shock, I feel like I'm being strangled.  Like I can't talk.  Like I'm being choked.  It's a horrible feeling. 

It is always so interesting how bodily reactions can tell us so much. Your body is reinforcing your experience of being choked and silenced. I'm so glad you were able to speak back to your mom, even if it came out "snippy." We don't have to continue to honor their silencing of us, no matter how much abuse they heap on us to keep us in line.

I am in brief conversations with my youngest sister.  At the lunch she came to me saying no one wanted her and mentioned she wasn't mentioned during the ministers saying the family names during his talk.  I hugged her for a long time and just kept on saying she was wanted and was loved into her ear.  My heart was breaking for her. 

This brought tears to my eyes. I hope you can feel proud of your kind and loving heart and your ability to provide this support when my guess is, this kind of behavior was not modeled to you in any way.

All the best to you.

[TimetoHeal]

The other day my youngest and middle sons were having a dispute over LEGO.  I was trying to help them come to a resolution.  My youngest son who is six said to me "mom,  I will give him the pieces later but I'm just too mad at him to give them right now". 
I was amazed at his insight and honoured him in what he said. 


That's kinda how I feel right now. 

Wow!  That is so mature and insightful of your son, and he's only six!  And so mature and insightful of you in honoring that!  I don't think most of us had that modeled to us by our parents, I feel it's safe to say.