One grandmother dead, one more to go

[DaisyGirl77]

A bit morbid.  It was the only phrase I could come up with at present.

I got word last night that my maternal grandmother died the day prior (the 15th).  She was 92.  I'm sadder about her death because I do have many good memories with her because I was one of her favorite grandkids, but it's complicated by the fact that she was so horrifically awful toward some of her six children that they refused contact as soon as they were able.  The same went for some of her grandchildren, too.

I posted an honest memorial on social media about her death & the feelings I have toward her complicated legacy last night when I found out.  I tried to make it fair & balanced while respecting my feelings & those who may be celebrating in relief that she's no longer around with the potential to harm them further.  I think I succeeded--a couple comments have said as much, which is a relief.

But I also wish it was my paternal grandmother who went first.  I mean...she's in her 90s & has had a death wish since the early 2000s, after her husband died.  She's the one who caused me harm.  Maybe the devil (if he even exists) isn't ready to invite her into his home yet.  (Lol.)  Or maybe God (if he exists) is making her stay here as punishment.  Who the hell knows.

But it is what it is, I suppose.

Anyway.  One down, one more to go.  Then I'll have no living grandparents at all, & that'll be a relief, I think.

[Blueberry Pancakes]

DaisyGirl, so sorry for your loss.

It seems when a family member with PD passes, the term "complicated grief" suddenly becomes vividly real. I wish it were simple. 
 
It is great that you worked through these aspects to post a memorial of your grandmother that honored her as well as you. Well done. Glad to know you will carry positive memories of her too. I guess we only have complicated grief because they leave complicated legacies.   

Be gentle with yourself as you sort through these feelings and take care of yourself.   

[doglady]

Condolences Daisy Girl.

Complicated grief is exactly the right term, and it exists prior to and after the 'complicated' person passes.

It sounds as if you navigated the delicate situation of the memorial post really well. That's not easy to do.

Be kind to yourself and I hope you get more relief soon.