"An Umbrella for Alex" (children's book)

[Hoolio]

An umbrella for Alex
By Rachel Raskin-Shoot
Publisher
Personality Disorder Awareness Network
Publication date
20 Sep 2012
ISBN-10
1427602980
ISBN-13
978-1427602985

I read this to my kids. It's about a mother with uncontrolled anger issues.

The eldest (introverted, subdued) child was quite nervous about it and said "you better not let mummy see this" but the middle child LOVED IT and wanted to read it a lot! (he is vocal about his mothers dysfunction and often fights back verbally when she puts him down whereas the eldest just goes mute when under attack from her)

My therapist said it could be seen as "leading" my kids to a concision about their mother but didn't go as far to say I should not read it to my kids he merely offered that as a possible outside view.

With my eldest son's anxiety about his mother finding the book and my fears of  hostile (angry / aggressive) repercussions of it's  discovery also, I only read it a few times before throwing it away. But I felt it was very useful to establish that sometimes people struggle control their anger. The younger son asked about it several times after (in a positive way, asking if we could read it again and telling me how much he enjoyed our reading it together)

So I recommend  it - but suggest you be mindful that its discovery by the PD person could possibly cause friction.

It was very much part of my journey Out of the FOG

[guitarman]

Hello Hoolio.

I've known about the book for a long time but not read it. I have a uBPD/uNPD sister and she has two children who are in their twenties now. I didn't know about personality disorders when they were very young. I've told them what I know when they were a bit older and we talk about things now openly.

It's great that you can be open with your children and that they can discuss their mother's behaviour with you. They are learning from you all the time about how to behave and cope with her. Talking with them about your feelings and that it's OK to talk about them is so important.

In an ideal world it would have been good if you all could feel that you could talk openly together with your wife about the book without having to have thrown it away. I can understand why you did but what message does that give to your children? That you can't yet discuss things. That you have to keep secrets.

I have mental health information hidden away in case my sister ever finds it so I know how it is. I have a copy of the book "Stop Walking On Eggshells" and that is hidden also. I keep asking myself why can't I just be honest and let her know? Why do I have to keep it all a secret?

However if my sister found out she would only get upset and cause me further anguish so what's the point. I have told her about personality disorders but she never mentions it. She prefers to say she has anxiety and stress.

So I hope that the book can be a start for you all. It can only be positive. Let's hope that there can be more books written for children about coping with personality disorders. Perhaps you could write your own book, or maybe even your children could write their own?

Best wishes.

[tommom]

I used to hide those books, Hoolio, but one day my uBPD/NPDh accidentally opened the package that had my copy of "Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men". He went into a rage, stomped into the living room, waved it under my nose and roared "What is this???"

I remained calm (thank you guys!) and said quietly. "Well, clearly, its a book about you."

He didn't know what to do. He stood there for a minute, just thinking about it. Then he turned around a walked away.

Now my books are right out in the open. I've even read some of them to him, when he goes over the top.

Not that it has changed him.....

[Hoolio]

Thanks for sharing..

Now living separately, our local charity shops are soon going to get a mini library of how to handle PD books...