How to Spot the 9 Signs of BPD

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DJCleo

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all4peace

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Re: How to Spot the 9 Signs of BPD
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2018, 11:31:45 PM »
Do you have any thoughts to share about this link?

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DJCleo

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Re: How to Spot the 9 Signs of BPD
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2018, 10:51:55 AM »
Do you have any thoughts to share about this link?

Yes, I think that it helps to empathize further with someone with BPD by understanding how their inner lives are different. I do think this particular psychologist sometimes says things that are a little jarring about those with PDs, but I did see in the Youtube comments that there were those who identified with having BPD or a PD who expressed that they'd love to have this psychologist as their personal therapist, which is interesting to me. It seems that it's still helpful to those with and without BPD.

The first trait is instability, which I can only partially understand at this time. I know that we all somewhat have BPD traits, but in a small amount that is manageable. I don't envy the struggle of those with BPD, but I do wish my BPD MIL's emotional pain was something that didn't hurt her first and didn't hurt others. We have boundaries, but it's still sad to see.

I don't know how much I understand the instability though. I could relate if I think back to younger parts of my life when I didn't really know myself well though.

I think knowing more about BPD helps for reasons of empathy and understanding.

I had also just thought I'd share the resource, but your question made me realize that I should have shared more than that to allow for a discussion.

How does instability in thoughts show up in the pwPD in your life?

For me, I'm not sure I see this well enough in my BPD MIL. I think that I probably saw some of it during our pre-wedding drama, but I'm not sure. These videos help me formulate questions to ask my H and therapist in order to better understand BPD MIL and others in my life with difficulties.

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all4peace

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Re: How to Spot the 9 Signs of BPD
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2018, 11:18:47 AM »
Thank you for sharing!

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DJCleo

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Re: How to Spot the 9 Signs of BPD
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2018, 12:46:36 PM »
This video also helps the listener/viewer sort through the differences between bipolar and BPD, for example.

I'm not sure about the identify disturbance either, how that would feel. I know that it must be scary if you don't feel like you know who you are. It must be much harder for someone with BPD to self-soothe for this reason.

Again, I realize that not every person with BPD will have all 9 traits as they only need 5 or more to be identified.

My BPD MIL does exhibit the fears of abandonment as well as the fluctuating moods at times. I wonder how to know what else is going on with her sometimes? Such as, when she's acting less cordial, is it a response to me, DJCLEO, or is it something that's going on within her? It's probably both.

So, I realize this helps me take things less personally, but that's not the whole story. I honestly find all of this rather fascinating, but also sad, if that makes sense. I don't wish any of these traits on anyone because they must be painful to live with.

It's also helpful to differentiate between BPD vs. NPD, for example. It seems that BPD is more of an emotional roller coaster vs. other disorders which are more consistent / constant because they're less dependent on huge fluctuations of emotions.