Trauma survivors in the time of Coronavirus

  • 2 Replies
  • 339 Views
*

Call Me Cordelia

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 1457
Trauma survivors in the time of Coronavirus
« on: March 28, 2020, 11:45:31 AM »
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2020/03/3-ways-the-coronavirus-pandemic-is-affecting-trauma-survivors-and-victims-of-narcissists-and-how-you-can-cope/

I thought this was a fascinating article. It validated some of what Iíve been experiencing, which is mostly a distinct lack of panic and fear. I had thought to myself that Coronavirus is a lot less scary than my everyday existence as a child. The threat is not so imminent as my omnipresent parents!

Iíve also been expecting hoovering, but so far nothing has broken through. I have no intention of checking my blocked folders though!

*

GettingOOTF

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 2152
Re: Trauma survivors in the time of Coronavirus
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2020, 11:55:52 AM »
I have read a few articles on this. I am also oddly calm. I also prepared for this which is very unlike me. I have a fully stocked pantry, cleaned my home of unnecessary things so Iíd have space to work etc.

My biggest worry is how I will cope when this is all over. Itís like everything got put on hold and I worry it will be too overwhelming when we get back to living our lives again.

I have not heard from anyone in my FOO. I live in one of the hardest hit places. People I only know from social media are reaching out. Nothing from family.

*

treesgrowslowly

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 652
Re: Trauma survivors in the time of Coronavirus
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2020, 11:42:13 AM »
Thanks for posting that article CMC!

I like that they discuss our experience specifically.

The advice to get social support is an over simplification for a lot of people and in their article they say reach out to a "trusted friend" for support. A lot of people who are LC or NC with FOO may be living without a trusted friend. And the messaging on that needs to be more nuanced and realistic in my opinion.

If you don't have a trusted friend right now, it's still very possible to understand your particular needs at this time. That said I hope people who are feeling anxious or numb, as the article describes, reach out to counselling support if they have access to it.

Social distancing has hit the pause button on a lot of social interaction and for people recovering from codependency this can actually create a lot of space for us to spend way way less of our day processing emotional contagions of others. Especially other people's anxiety and anger.

It seems logical that for some people, the time away from unhealthy workplaces and other social spaces can be giving our nervous system a reprieve from doing the work we did to navigate those spaces so routinely up until this happened.

It is also interesting to consider that some folks who are now stuck at home, miss their codependent coworkers who enabled their self absorbed behaviours (the ones who come in Monday and spend 10 minutes talking about their weekend and leaving before you get a word in edgewise). These are not all PDs of course but they relied on their more codependent colleages in ways they didn't appreciate.

The same lack of self awareness they had 3 months ago at a meeting, is still there. It means they won't really recognize that this is possibly one of the reasons why they feel off being at home now daily.

The nearest codependent, especially if it was a colleague or subordinate position, gave them a supply (which we survivors of PD abuse understand well) they now have to live without while at home.  and will not know why they feel off.

These folks may not realize their colleagues were taxed by their chatter, they may believe they are simply extroverts who simply miss being in social spaces.

I miss many things right now as we all do but I do not miss the emotional labour of the average day out in the overstimulating malls and stores and offices. I feel for people whose jobs are affect by the closures for sure but I can do that and not miss the emotionally-loud overstimulating spaces we were all congregating in.

It's a good time to work on ourselves I think. Overall a helpful article to consider how to understand our coping right now.

Looking forward to reading more thoughts folks here have about this article.

Trees