SO unable to move forward....

[blew]

We've been considering moving to a new town about two hours away.  Today we looked at a really nice house.  When we got back into the car, and I asked "What do you think?" her first words were how the landscaping was "a disaster" and how that was a dealer breaker. Her exact words were, "You know me, I'm the person who sits on the porch and if I see a flower that needs to be dead-headed, I go and do it."  Indeed she is.

I realized at that moment that this lovely home will never be ours, but worse yet?  We'll never move.  Someone who is this OC (OCPD) is simply unable to imagine moving into a place where everything is not INSTANTLY they way she wants it.  The carpet, the wall colors.  Literally everything was an issue. Listen, I get it that contractors are expensive and that we're not as young as we once were, but her inability to let some of this stuff ride for a year or two makes me think that we'll never find "the perfect house" because there is no such thing.  Of course, gone unsaid in all of this is what I THINK about any of these issues.

[Samuel S.]

Blew, your SO is truly unable to move forward. Everything has to be perfect. In fact, everyone has to be perfect. Otherwise, nothing and nobody are worth their time and effort. My wife is the same way. Like your SO, my wife is OCD, but she will never admit it. Yeah, and like you say, lost in the equation is how you think and how you feel. Mine is that way too!

[1footouttadefog]

I hablve experienced this with my spouse as well.  Its especially bad when we were looking for rental property.

I was intentionally looking for places that were depressed and that had value to ve realized by cleaning them up.

One place had all new windows, siding,  plumbing, newish kitchen the vintage hardwoods were refinished.  It was selling for half of what the last mortgage had been.  It needed paint inside, pressure washed and a new roof, and the bathroom shower needed recaulked and some new flooring. 

His OCD brain could not see past the fact vinyl siding needed pressure washing. 

Perhaps allow a budget for landscaping,  getting her to meet with a landscaper and make plans for a new or ammended landscape will creat buy in.

I know a flambouyant guy who sells such concepts then has his crews execute them after the sale.  I am sire there is one ir more in every market.

[FreeSophia]

you are right that your SO will not consider your feelings... so you have to. You may have to put up with negativity and pouting along the way but sometimes you just have to block out all of that negative energy and concentrate on cultivating positive energy within yourself. what do YOU want? (how long has it been since someone has asked you that?)