new mama

[mylife]

Hello, It is refreshing to remain anonymous and find you all. Just what i have been looking for. I just had my first baby. She is now 8 months old. I love her beyond all planets. So much so that i finally left my PD partner of 4.5 years when she was two months old. I have a ton of support and yet I feel so alone in this. He looks so normal to the world. I gave every drop of my soul to show him consistent love and to support him learning how to regulate his emotions while also attempting to set boundaries. We did a few years of couples therapy. I loved so many things about him and believed that he was a good man who had anger issues- who gets triggered OFTEN. He was doing weekly individual therapy (for 17 years?1!?)  to work on his stuff so i remained patient with our dynamic... Only thing is nothing he learned on his own seemed to ever integrate and he resisted practicing anything we learned together. The rage, blame, gas lighting and emotional abuse worsened when i got pregnant. Then the name calling showed up when our daughter was born. I left....
I left a "good compatible life with a wonderful community and a man I thought I loved no matter what" and have since filed for sole legal custody.

Any new moms out there or moms who navigated the legal system with a PD person who was abusive?
Thank you for your consideration

[Blackbird11]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation but welcome. I'm in the process of divorcing my uPDh and asked for separation a few months before my child turned 2. My PD is very covert and not physically abusive - emotional/verbal, yes. Although it became more subtle after I gave birth. I've been living with him since the separation and it has been a very long 1.5 years   

The resources on here and the people who have been through it and take the time to write on here are invaluable. Read everything you can. Document every day with your kid and every interaction with PD. Do not trust him or believe him. The less you have to interact with him, the better. Gray rock is your friend.

You'll get through this. You are very brave and strong! You've got this!!!

[Boat Babe]