BP friend & Christmas card

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Jolie40

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BP friend & Christmas card
« on: October 03, 2020, 04:30:29 PM »
my best friend from high school ended up being diagnosed as BP after marriage
she moved away but we still stay in contact through Christmas cards

her mom and I are also friends and still talk by phone

 BP friend has never acknowledged that I have a child
her mom told me it was because she was jealous & apparently BP friend looked into adoption & didn't qualify because of her BP diagnosis

we send yearly photo Christmas cards of our child to all
for BP friend, only send photo of our dog

earlier this year, our dog died so won't be sending her dog photo with Christmas card

do you think it's okay to start sending photo Christmas card of child to BP friend now?



« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 04:55:58 PM by Jolie40 »
be good to yourself

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clara

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Re: BP friend & Christmas card
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2020, 11:24:22 AM »
Yes.  You've tried to be sensitive to her feelings, while she's been indifferent to yours.  PDs always try to dictate the terms of the relationship, which are terms you don't have to accept.  If she doesn't want to acknowledge something as important to you as your child, then that's on her.  You're not responsible for her negative feelings. 

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Wilderhearts

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Re: BP friend & Christmas card
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2020, 05:52:44 PM »
I very much agree with Clara here.  It's not your responsibility to shield her from reality; if she feels pain or jealousy in response to you celebrating your child and trying to share that love and joy with her, well, how she receives that and feels in response to it is only within her control.  It is not our job to protect pwPDs, or anyone, from the meaning they choose to assign to actions that are not inherently harmful.

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lakersgirl248

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Re: BP friend & Christmas card
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2020, 05:22:41 AM »
I agree with what they said before me. I think that you have to responsibility towards he f she is acting this way. Be mindful of your own health