I did it- I stood my ground

[HollyG]

Tonight, after three days of struggling to find the strength, I confronted my husband with the things I was upset about, the non negotiables and what needs to be done to repair this. We were having a nice day and I almost chickened out. But if you've read my previous posts you'd know this is about protecting my child and myself from danger he could be putting us in.
I REALLY BELIEVED he'd see the light and at least attempt to negotiate with me. Nope. LIED LIED LIED. Deny, deny deny... project... played victim "you always do this. You cut me down and try to control me" and, "you're irrational and not making sense. You're imagining things." Gaslit me to a whole new level.
Except... I went in armed w knowledge on how to remain calm and to the point.
He loves our baby or so I think but his answer was that I should get the F out then. I do pray he'll change his tune and realize what a dire mistake this is but I doubt it. Oh well. I spoke my truth. I have my integrity.
If you need inspiration, walk bravely through the fire.
It's SO HARD bc no one is evil 100% of the time & some ppl have varying levels of PD so you might question yourself. I've been so messed up by this that I can't even trust my own mind.
No more. No more toxicity!!! I am proud of myself despite the sadness that will follow.

[notrightinthehead]

Now that you have spoken your truth, I wish you strength to stick to your boundaries.

[tragedy or hope]

 You do/did this for yourself. Congratulations! Expect some pouting on his part. You can be kind, but never go back on what you said. Remember they don't have a self, they don't really care about us and they like to get us back where "we belong," in their scheme of things.

In my experience, I have learned not to say it again. Your truth is out and he knows you know the game. Ignore the "get out" part. It too was meant to throw you off. It is your home. If he is serious, he will pack his bag. It is tactic to be hateful to your honest truth.

I am also learning that quietly speaking my truth when things happen can save a blow-up. I will acknowledge that HE does not and will not see it the way I do, but... then I say what I want to say and drop it as quickly as I started it.

I then continue on with my day. i do not punish, nag or repeat what I said. I know he heard me. At that point I am free to do as I please and live as I please. I have unhooked myself from him until he pulls out a new trick or method to drag me back in.

Good job. It feels like a bad day, but for YOU, it was a day of truth. Your truth. Which you deserve to have acknowledged. We do here.