Doctor Ramani

Started by Hepatica, October 15, 2020, 07:11:08 AM

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Hepatica

October 15, 2020, 07:11:08 AM Last Edit: October 15, 2020, 07:53:16 AM by Hepatica
Hello everyone. For those of you who might not have watched any Doctor Ramani videos on Youtube, I've watched lots and lots of educational videos and the one I watched last night called 10 Ways to Become Resistant to Narcissists is so so so validating. If you're feeling at all confused or weary or sad, this video will bolster you, I promise. Love to read your thoughts after you watch it.

I hope there aren't too many commercial ad breaks.

"There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's
still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where
there is a confidence and tranquility." John O'Donohue

GettingOOTF

#1
October 15, 2020, 07:30:15 AM
She comes so highly recommend that I clicked on the link. The video is unwatchable as there is a commercial every minute. She hasn't even reached the first of her 10 tips and it's been interrupted by 3 commercials already. Such a shame.

Hepatica

#2
October 15, 2020, 07:50:02 AM
Oh no! GettingOOTF, I wonder why? Maybe if you search it and watch it without using the link it might be better. In the one that I watched there was only one pause for a commercial.

I am going to remove my link and just put the title.
"There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's
still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where
there is a confidence and tranquility." John O'Donohue

GettingOOTF

#3
October 15, 2020, 07:51:48 AM
I clicked the link. Yes usually there is only one ad at the start. This was crazy.

Hepatica

#4
October 15, 2020, 08:20:36 AM Last Edit: October 15, 2020, 08:26:39 AM by Hepatica
Ahhhh... I see what you're saying GettingOOTF. I just tried it. That's so bad. I was able to skip the ads after 5 secs though. It's annoying too but at least you don't have to sit thru the entire ad.

I'm thinking that particular video is high number and the algorithm has stuck these in, bc I'm looking at another video with less numbers of hers and there are no ads in it other than the beginning one which you can skip.
"There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's
still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where
there is a confidence and tranquility." John O'Donohue

Amadahy

#5
October 15, 2020, 12:55:43 PM
If you minimize the video (to where you can only hear it) those pesky ads go away.  Tip from my internet savvy son to his dinosaur mama. 😂
Ring the bells that still can ring;
Forget your perfect offering.
There's a crack in everything ~~
That's how the Light gets in!

~~ Leonard Cohen

losingmyself

#6
October 15, 2020, 01:39:17 PM
I listen to Dr Ramini almost daily. She is so validating and informative. I will look for this talk, as I don't know if I've seen it. I have followed her talks on covert narcissists and realized that that is what I'm dealing with. She gives great advice on how to deal with them.
I just find her on you tube, there are a lot of commercials that you have to skip through. I will try minimizing it to get rid of those. Thanks for the tip! Aren't kids great??

Hepatica

#7
October 15, 2020, 01:53:29 PM
Amadahy, thank you to your son for the tech tip.  :)

I really teared up and cried watching the How to Think about your Narcissist Parent video. It was like the words I've needed to hear said since I was a little girl. I feel like she's the one who finally stepped in and stood up for me. I like that she gets angry on our behalf. Rightful anger.
"There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's
still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where
there is a confidence and tranquility." John O'Donohue

Pepin

#8
October 17, 2020, 05:39:00 PM
I have also been listening to her and found her videos on cultural narcissism validating.  It is a very narrow focus with regards to narcissism and one that I have been struggling with for some time.  I was raised by an immigrant and I am married to a man who was raised by two immigrants.  Coming to the United States and assimilating seemed to be in itself a form of trauma that wasn't dealt with on top of whatever other past traumas there were.  These are people that while they wanted to come to the US for a better life and a better life for their kids, remained firmly entrenched in cultural practices from their former countries that were controlling and damaging.  These are people that didn't want to do the work of growing up and taking full responsibility for their actions.  These are people that enforced parentification because they were lazy despite all the efforts they made to come here.  Setting boundaries has been an important and necessary way to deal with them.  In my father's case, I went no contact.  I do not identify with his culture.  DH keeps getting guilt tripped by PDmil which hopefully he can sort out as she ages because it isn't helpful for our marriage or for DH's emotional wellbeing. 

Hepatica

#9
October 18, 2020, 06:56:31 AM
Pepin, thanks so much for replying and sharing your experience. It gives me a sense of relief to know that there are so many kinds of resources for all of us available now. My mother is an immigrant. Much of my childhood experience with her, I believe is her expressing her unresolved trauma in actions and behaviour to her childhood home experience, with the added element of growing up in great tension and conflict in the surrounding political sphere. I don't know if you've heard or read My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakum, but I am reading it now. It isn't about the immigrant experience, rather it's about generational or ancestral trauma. It's given me a lot of food for thought.
"There is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's
still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where
there is a confidence and tranquility." John O'Donohue

11JB68

#10
October 18, 2020, 12:59:33 PM
I discovered that Dr ramani has podcasts too

Coyote23

#11
November 10, 2020, 11:28:17 AM
Thank you for the recommendation. My husband has a paid YouTube account, so I'll watch there and there should be no ads. If you folks can afford it, a paid YouTube account is a game changer!

Pepin

#12
November 10, 2020, 02:41:05 PM
Quote from: Coyote23 on November 10, 2020, 11:28:17 AM
Thank you for the recommendation. My husband has a paid YouTube account, so I'll watch there and there should be no ads. If you folks can afford it, a paid YouTube account is a game changer!

You can also use the Brave browser and it is free.

Sapling

#13
November 11, 2020, 12:18:58 AM
Quote from: Pepin on October 17, 2020, 05:39:00 PM
I have also been listening to her and found her videos on cultural narcissism validating.  It is a very narrow focus with regards to narcissism and one that I have been struggling with for some time.  I was raised by an immigrant and I am married to a man who was raised by two immigrants.  Coming to the United States and assimilating seemed to be in itself a form of trauma that wasn't dealt with on top of whatever other past traumas there were.  These are people that while they wanted to come to the US for a better life and a better life for their kids, remained firmly entrenched in cultural practices from their former countries that were controlling and damaging.  These are people that didn't want to do the work of growing up and taking full responsibility for their actions.  These are people that enforced parentification because they were lazy despite all the efforts they made to come here.  Setting boundaries has been an important and necessary way to deal with them.  In my father's case, I went no contact.  I do not identify with his culture.  DH keeps getting guilt tripped by PDmil which hopefully he can sort out as she ages because it isn't helpful for our marriage or for DH's emotional wellbeing.

I'm not in the US but I can fully relate to this story. This was my family too. Dr Ramani's talks on cultural and inter-generational narcissism made so much sense to me and reminded me to go a bit easier on myself about some of the decisions I've had to make with regards to my FOO.

Thanks Hepatica, for the recommendation. I have been watching Dr Ramani almost every day since I came to Out of the FOG. It has really bolstered my resolve to restructure the relationships in my life. I am totally with her on "dump the enablers" if you don't want NPDs in your life.
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