He is warning me now

[Bunnyme]

During our discussion tonight, I got a preview of what he is going to claim in his defense.  He is hinting at parental alienation, which is like a punch in the gut after all the times I reassured the kids while he was in rehab, and absorbed the anger when he canceled visitation on them yet again.  He is also claiming that my mom is unsafe.  She was not able to care for herself in her previous home, but is now on her own and doing well.  She stays and helps me with the kids sometimes. 
He asked again whether we are going to get divorced.  It seemed to click this time, and he warned me that he is getting an attorney to fight for his rights and "it is going to get nasty."  I said that it doesnt have to, but that is obviously lost on him. I'm filing tomorrow.  I had been trying to get into a new place first, but I have to just do it.  I'm bracing for the horrors that await me...trying to take it a day at a time and focus on the kids. 

[blunk]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this behavior. It stinks that he can tell you he is going to make any number of baseless claims and there is little you can do to disprove it.

With regards to a claim of parental alienation, the fact that you have an agreement with visitation details should help. As would any documentation you have regarding missed calls, visits, etc.

Good luck moving forward, we are all here if you need us.

[Boat Babe]

Hey Bunnyme. I don't have personal experience of this and also know that PDs can really escalate after you leave them. However, it may also be that he is is just thrashing around, trying to unerve you. Given his record, he doesn't have a leg to stand on and he won't get far.i really hope that this is the case. Sending hugs.

[Bunnyme]

I still havent filed.  My attorney thinks it is better to give him (yet) another chance to comply with the current agreement and produce the paperwork, and say I need to have it by Sunday or I'm filing Monday. 
It isnt really giving him another chance...my lawyer cant do it until monday, and it is way better for me if we settle.  Basically, he is being an asshat and if I file, I look reactionary.  If I give a chance at agreement, I am the calmer one not trying to fight.  Not sure about it

[GettingOOTF]

I would strongly encourage you to speak with a different attorney.

Of course no one can know the full details of your situation and it’s always best to listen to legal advice but then not all attorneys are good attorneys.

Your husband is an active addict who is abusive and delusional. You and your children are in actual danger here. I have read countless stories of divorce and I have never heard of a woman being told to stay in this situation because divorcing will “look reactionary”. Of course it’s reactionary - you are reacting to the situation your husband has put you in.

There have been a couple of things that have shocked me about the process you are going through with your attorney. Your husband is text book, but your attorney is not.

I am not an attorney, simply a woman who has been where you are. I know you are worried about money but if you were my friend I’d strongly urge you to speak with another attorney.

Once the dust settles you and your kids have to live with the outcome of your settlement, your attorney simply moves on. I cannot see anything your attorney is doing in any of your posts to fight for the best settlement for you and put your and your children’s safety first.

[losingmyself]

Bunnyme, I just wanted to tell you about a book that Kris Godinez highly recommends when you're divorcing a pd person. It is called Splitting, by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger.
She says it will tell you how they're going to react to a divorce and help you deal with them.
Good luck to you, and stay safe

[Medowynd]

I agree with GetOOOF, your attorney is not looking at your best interests.  I suggest interviewing several attorneys and look for one that is experienced with PDs and high conflict divorce. 

[hhaw]

At least you have his history of addiction and failure to show for child visitation documented well.

If you remain level, can show both attorneys the truth....this might not be the sh*t show you fear.