Dr appointment

[SparkStillLit]

I recently had a two week follow up. Updh bugged me about the results (I really had the impression he wants me to "get back to normal"). My dr said I was describing "decision fatigue" and said to give myself two more weeks-ish to heal, but if I wasn't seeing any improvement, call and we would change my med dosage.
Updh POUNCED on this and said "what decisions was I making that were so tiring" like as if I don't do anything, and then backpedaled when I said what decision fatigue IS. (I didn't know what it was either, but I don't jump to rude conclusions. I ask questions.) Updh is agitated that I'm not "better" and also about med dosage changes. I can totally tell. He likes to ignore that anything is wrong and that I'm on any kind of ..... brain chemistry med. He thinks I should be managing this with diet and exercise, like HE does.  Because that's working 
PD fatigue. How about that. I was gone for 4 days and nobody sucked all the air out of the room or bothered about what I did, and people "made" me have fun instead of the opposite!
Nobody made me. I'm just used to being allergic to fun and they sucked me into fun.
Oh and, I had to go back and forth because I kept forgetting stuff...well so did we ALL! Nobody had a cow! Other people do it, and they LAUGH about it, and curse in a teasing way, and say they're getting in their steps! The others wait patiently and don't act like anything!

[Penny Lane]

I'm glad you got to have a break!

Yes, decision fatigue has nothing to do with diet and exercise. I hope you can find more ways to take care of yourself soon!

[FreeSophia]

plan more trips that are just you and your friends. that can be so so so so so needed. just little breaks from the stress, and to be able to RELAX.

[HollyG]

I can relate. When you get a break and feel energized and happy it's very validating. Any time I've ever been ill or facing an issue I felt like any sort of sympathy or care i received carried an undercurrent of annoyance— almost as if I could hear him thinking "hurry up & get better bc this is an inconvenience to ME". I used to think I had an overactive imagination but nope. That's your intuition. Listen to it! 

[SparkStillLit]

I'm going to throw this in here; DD has checked herself back into BH because she couldn't take the suicidal thoughts anymore.
I am...distressed.
Dh is full of the same horribleness as before, won't speak to her, thinks she's an utter failure at life. And an embarrassment in the military.
I think she just never healed from before, and military doesn't matter, and perhaps she's too abused to function properly there. It DOESN'T MATTER. I want her to STAY ALIVE and HEAL.

[losingmyself]

Spark, I am so so sorry to hear your DD had another setback, and I truly hope and pray that both of you get the help you need. My heart goes out to you.
Sending hugs

[SparkStillLit]

Thank you so much. She and I can use all the prayers and well wishes you can send. We are both fighting hard.

[Associate of Daniel]

I'm so sorry, Spark. Take care of yourself.  Wishing you and your daughter all the best over the coming days.

AOD

[BeautifulCrazy]

Praying for you and your daughter Spark!!

[SparkStillLit]

Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts & prayers. DD'S action plan and treatment has been a smashing success and she is back in "class" or whatever one calls it in the military, with commendations for how she conducted herself, and for her resiliency.
I am waffling about asking for a little bump in my meds, but overall I'm doing pretty well. I don't think I quite have the right amount of sunshine and roses, nor my normal decision capacity. I still hit the wall in fairly short order.

[Associate of Daniel]

That's wonderful, Spark!

I hope you and your dd can stay on the up.

Hopefully she can also start working on disconnecting herself healthily from the emotional trauma of dealing with pd in her life.

AOD

[Lauren17]

Spark, I'm glad to hear that you're getting some help and finding your roses again. Keep moving through.