Online church and PDs

[Cascade]

We have been joining our church online at home, because of the covid situation. I never realized how judgemental my husband was of our church until we started listening in at home. Granted we don't attend a big church with a lot of fancy equipment and stellar worship leaders but since when is "attending" church about finding fault? When he's not doing that, he's on his phone, barely listening. I'd just as soon him not join me at all.

Church has been stressful for me these last few years, as my husband has used it for attention seeking and has embarrassed me as well, so other than the above, I'm enjoying the break from physically attending our church.

[Andeza]

I think the whole staying home thing has been doubly hard on pwPDs that usually derive some of their supply from sources outside the immediate family circle. Like at church. It's got to be nearly impossible to get anything out of the services with the nonstop barrage of yammering... Might I recommend using a worship app or podcast on your own phone, earbuds in, so you can benefit? That way, even if the only peace he gives you is in the bathroom, you can still get your sermons and whatnot.

[Cascade]

Thanks for the suggestion. Our church puts their sermons on as podcasts too, so I'll try listening to them that way.

[tragedy or hope]

Cascade,
It is kind of sad to not be able to worship together. I am in that same situation. In fact this morning was a fiasco. He chose something one of his friends suggested. It was different and loud. When I commented about the volume, he turned it off, which led to a PD episode where I was told I was treating him as if he were a pest. This because I did not try to engage about what we were watching.

I could go on but what matters is what you experienced. I echo your feelings and experiences. I feel a little stir crazy living with unpdh also not getting his feed. Church has been a nightmare for me since one of his flying monkies told him he could teach. There is not a time or place we go where he does not invite someone to "his" mens group as if it were the only meeting in town. Church feed is the worst... people are generous with praise to a fault. Then I have to live with the damage they have done.

[Cascade]

Church has been a nightmare for me since one of his flying monkies told him he could teach. There is not a time or place we go where he does not invite someone to "his" men's group as if it were the only meeting in town.

That reminds me of how my husband is with his new, somewhat attention getting job, going out of his way to bring it up  to others as often as he can.

I listened to a few church podcasts this week, and I was surprised at how it's so much easier for me to focus instead of my mind wandering so easily, like it does when my husband is at home. 

[Mary]

That's awesome Cascade! I love it when a boundary pays off.