Mother in law trying to control?

[HollyG]

  so if you've read my posts you know my UNPD is in jail. MIL is not defending him but also trying to influence me and enable her son, refusing to acknowledge facts and becoming defensive of him despite being personally victimized by him for years.
I was planning on staying w her until I got on my feet as I have no one to babysit if I work. Now, I am thinking this may be toxic and an attempt on her part to influence me away from separating from my husband.
My options are limited and I will have to apply for welfare and not work if I don't go with her. With COVID, I realize my industry could potentially be shut down soon anyhow w the 2nd wave.
Any advice from you all on what you would do?? I still love my husband but I now know too much about his dark side & don't want any toxicity. MIL is very kind & giving but I don't trust her. Feel like there could be intentions that aren't great.

[stormbrewing]

Hi Holly, I am so sorry for what you are going through. My brother ended up in prison a number of years ago and none of us had any concept of what he had been doing until it all came out in court. He took some money from our mother last year and she hasn't heard from him since.

I could be way off here, but I wonder if MIL's motivation for wanting to keep you connected to her son is because if you aren't around when he gets released then she will feel obliged to support him. If life has been easier for her with you there to take the brunt of his awful behaviours perhaps she doesn't want to give that up. Whether this is the case or not probably doesn't make your choices any easier, but it may provide an explanation for her behaviour, and it means that when it comes down to it you and your little one might be better off without her 'help'.

Having said that, we are likely in different countries and I don't know if you have an adequate welfare system that would keep you both fed and a roof over your head, so your choices may be more limited than they would be where I live.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the very best as you navigate through this.