Panic! My safe place...

[Justme729]

My grandma is ready to move on from where she currently lives.  She wants to be near my kiddos. That's fine, but that means my mom comes with her.   It hurts my soul because my city is my safe place.  I doubt it would actually happen, but...it's possible?   How would you navigate?   I'm tempted to say grandma can come visit for a significant length of time over the winter (she's up north).   There are some 55+ communities that she would love.   I just don't care for my mom to live near me.   

[Lisa]

I don't have any advice but just wanted to reply and say I totally get how this idea would make you feel panicked and unsafe!

[Hilltop]

Yep I completely understand how this would make you feel unsafe.

I wouldn't encourage it.  I wouldn't encourage your GM to come as that means also your mom.  I wouldn't offer up solutions or great places to visit.   

[Justme729]

I hate it because my PD mother is her gatekeeper and essentially denies access to anyone or anything that doesn't include her.   It's so hard.   My cousins and I can at least relate and support each other as it truly includes all our parents to some degree.

[Sneezy]

I encouraged my mom to move near me.  I thought it would be easier to help her out and be there in case of emergencies.  Two years in, and I regret it.  A few things have become easier, but most things are harder.  It's much more difficult to take a sanity break or get some space when your PD Parent lives in the same town.  I would recommend that you keep the physical distance between your mom and you.  I know it's hard, because of your grandmother.  But maybe your idea of having your grandmother come by herself for a visit is the way to go.  Good luck!