Walks away while talking... tales from the other side

[ICantThinkOfAName]

I was reading a post by Sidney37 whereby her husband would walk away in the middle of her conversation and in her case I would be mad as well as he really wasn't listening.

I didn't want to highjack that post so I decided to start my own.  In my experience, I have been the one to walk away in the conversation.  The scene plays out like this:  I ask husband about a show we were recently watching and wasn't so and so just crazy to do such and such.  That will be the last full sentence I utter in the next 10 minutes.  He will acknowledge what I said and even agree with me, this makes me feel good.  But here is where it goes 99.9999 % of the time.  He will go off on a tangent about how he once travelled to such and such and ran into so and so, and then they ate this incredible food made by this really cool guy who happened to have a goat that could do tricks.  It's like he's on stage an he's got the mic.  Meanwhile, I've been feeling the urges from my bladder and it's not getting any better.  I'm still nodding and walking slowly backward towards the bathroom door, 5 minutes to walk 5 steps.  Trying to signal that he needs to take a small break in his conversation, my hand is on the bathroom door, it's obvious what I am about to do, yet on and on another minute ticks by.  It's like trying to play double dutch and time when to open the door and quickly say, "hold that thought".  I mean less than 2 seconds, he needs to pause for less than 2 seconds.  It's like he's not paying any attention to the non-verbal signals and I feel harsh by cutting him off when I've been extremely transparent about what I'm doing.  It's like he gets mad that I couldn't hold it until he finished he soliloquy.  I can even hold up a finger like just a sec and still doesn't get it.  So either I just interrupt and then he gets mopey cause I've broken his energy and the mood or I just simply vanish and try to listen behind the door.  How do you all handle the non-stop yapping when you need 5 minutes head space or to just freaking go to the bathroom?

[SparkStillLit]

You have given ample signal and opportunity "hold that thought" "hang on a sec" and such. This is just as rude and thoughtless, but the other way. Holding you captive for the monologue.
I think you are doing it, "that's very interesting, hold that thought, gotta pee" or what have you. His reaction is his problem. You've been more than reasonable.

[athene1399]

I agree with SparkStillLit. You have given him enough notice, so if he ignores that and keeps on talking, then that is on him.

IMO he is ignoring your needs so he can keep talking. To me it is as if he is saying "I don't care if you have to pee, I am not done talking ". If you having to pee makes him moody, he kind of has to figure out how to deal with that. You shouldn't have to. IMO you are doing nothing wrong.

[Matteblak]

I was reading a post by Sidney37 whereby her husband would walk away in the middle of her conversation and in her case I would be mad as well as he really wasn't listening.

I didn't want to highjack that post so I decided to start my own.  In my experience, I have been the one to walk away in the conversation.  The scene plays out like this:  I ask husband about a show we were recently watching and wasn't so and so just crazy to do such and such.  That will be the last full sentence I utter in the next 10 minutes.  He will acknowledge what I said and even agree with me, this makes me feel good.  But here is where it goes 99.9999 % of the time.  He will go off on a tangent about how he once travelled to such and such and ran into so and so, and then they ate this incredible food made by this really cool guy who happened to have a goat that could do tricks.  It's like he's on stage an he's got the mic.  Meanwhile, I've been feeling the urges from my bladder and it's not getting any better.  I'm still nodding and walking slowly backward towards the bathroom door, 5 minutes to walk 5 steps.  Trying to signal that he needs to take a small break in his conversation, my hand is on the bathroom door, it's obvious what I am about to do, yet on and on another minute ticks by.  It's like trying to play double dutch and time when to open the door and quickly say, "hold that thought".  I mean less than 2 seconds, he needs to pause for less than 2 seconds.  It's like he's not paying any attention to the non-verbal signals and I feel harsh by cutting him off when I've been extremely transparent about what I'm doing.  It's like he gets mad that I couldn't hold it until he finished he soliloquy.  I can even hold up a finger like just a sec and still doesn't get it.  So either I just interrupt and then he gets mopey cause I've broken his energy and the mood or I just simply vanish and try to listen behind the door.  How do you all handle the non-stop yapping when you need 5 minutes head space or to just freaking go to the bathroom?

WOW!! this is so familiar I almost laughed out loud. Funny thing is, my wife calls this one-sided mess a conversation! I used to say "this feels more like a lecture" but then I would get a REAL lecture. Now, I just tune out with the occasional grunt or other indication that I'm in the room, but she isn't interested in me. If I had to guess, I think yours just LOVES to hear the sound of his own voice. I wonder if we could get them in an infinite loop by getting them to write a book and then have them read it constantly, admiring their own brilliance...just thinking out loud.