Irritating Co-Worker, Cont'd

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The New Me!

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Irritating Co-Worker, Cont'd
« on: November 18, 2020, 04:59:17 PM »
Hi

I posted about a co-worker around 3 weeks ago.  Well the situation has got worse.  She had been off ill and when I came into work I asked her if she was feeling any better to which I got a barely audible response.  However, a more senior member of staff asked her how she was and she couldn't have been more different.  The situation has become particularly unbearable over the past few weeks, barely making any conversation unless she has to, if I say anything I get a clipped response.  I'm just sick of it.  There are other things going off as well; husband's shifts have been changed at work and we have lost quite a lot of money per month because of it.  My son has had some blood tests because his white blood cells were low.   This behaviour all got too much last week at work and I got really upset.  My team leader naturally wanted to know what the matter was and I also spoke to my Manager about it.  I don't work Mondays and spoke to my GP and she advised to self-certify for a week to give myself some time, which I am currently doing.  I really don't know why she bothers me so much, except she reminds me of my Mum and Step-Dad; all herself, takes exception to how you word things, doesn't like being challenged, etc.  My boss is going to check up on me at the end of this week to see how I'm getting on.

I'm due to move to another department in March, because my role is covering maternity leave.  I have asked if there is any chance of me moving sooner.  My boss has said that they are going to look at putting some things in place, so I'm really hoping I can leave all this strangeness behind.  She also doesn't get on with another lady in our department; who works part-time on different days to me.  I have worked with her before on a few occasions, whilst she's been covering for another member of staff who was on holiday.  I've found her perfectly nice and she's worked within this department for 16 years.

There are aspects of the role I find difficult, because I have osteoarthritis in my knees, I have to fetch a lot of patient notes for clinics and I have had an occupational health assessment and been advised to limit my walking around with the trolley for 1 hour per day.  We are busy though and I am exceeding that.  The job I'm moving to is more desk based and 90% reception work, so a lot more ideal.  I'm finding the awful atmosphere at work, as well as the pain in my knees, hard to cope with.

All the old feelings have been coming back and I've been feeling quite low again and I'm frightened of becoming ill again like I did before.  However, I do feel brighter today.  Although what I'll feel like come Monday, when I'm due to go into work on Tuesday I don't know.  I'm just waiting to see what measures will be put in place by my boss and hope to find out what these are on Friday.  I work for the NHS by the way.  Any thoughts?  Thanks.

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Thru the Rain

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Re: Irritating Co-Worker, Cont'd
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2020, 12:30:55 PM »
When you say your co-worker reminds you of your Mum and Step-Dad, that's essentially the definition of "triggered". Your co-worker hits an already raw nerve, so you find yourself automatically on high alert. This is a normal human reaction, if that's any comfort. Think of it as having an old physical injury - and then repeatedly re-injuring that same spot. Your reaction might seem out of proportion to someone who doesn't understand your personal history, but in fact your reaction is entirely rational and even expected.

The What To Do section of the Toolbox might be helpful: https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1/ Especially Gray Rock and Medium Chill. You might get some ideas to help you tolerate this co-worker until your transfer.