The Lies Continue

[Kat54]

It makes me think... is my ex trying  to alienate my kids from my family?
My sister who lives next door to my exNPDh with my two twenty something year old kids. My ex went over to have a beer with my sister and brother in law as they have remained friendly.  My sister feels she should keep my kids close to her and they are like her two other kids, which I'm eternally grateful for since I'm farther away In another state. They all talked about the Thanksgiving holiday coming up and my ex told them that they would stay home as he was planning a dinner for just the three of them. My sister invited them to come for Thanksgiving but my ex declined. So my brother in law said, and it's because of COVID and the rising infections, it's probably for the best anyway. Meaning it's best if they don't all hang out as it would be too many people.
My ex goes home from what I was told and he tells my kids, " we aren't wanted next door so we have to stay home" My sister found this out because my daughter told her cousin, she was a little upset.
Thankfully her cousin set her straight and said there was no way that conversation went that way and basically was saying her father was a liar.
This has happened time and time again during our marriage as my ex is a pathological liar on top of his narcissism.
I worry at times with my ex living next to my sister that whole relationship will eventually go sour. He's so hateful, negative and usually turns friends into enemies. I feel bad for my kids and hope and pray they want to move out soon and get away from him. I've hoped my daughter moves up closer to me someday soon. I've offered her my home but I think don't think she's ready to make any kind of move right now.
I'm still getting settled in my new home. It will be Somewhere they can come and be at peace because there is no anger, judging, or lying. I know they are adults and figuring this out. My guilt leaving them has been huge. My daughter was in college and her brother working for his father when I left and moved into my sisters.
Obviously they love him but how can they be so loyal to such a liar and angry person?

[notrightinthehead]

yup. One wonders. And then ... how could we be so loyal for so long?

I think this is a good sign, your daughter finding out about the lie, and not through you. It is great that she actually asked the people that your h lied about. I was too scared to ever do that. There will be other such incidences since that seems to be a habit of his in order to isolate his victims. I hope you feel lucky and good that you finally have escaped his manipulation and abuse.

[Kat54]

Exactly, how does one stay loyal for so long. I would feel almost knocked over by his lies and brush it under the rug and move on as I did with his verbal abuse also. But, as what happened, time goes on and the layers of my thick skin wore away.
Glad I'm out of there, and hearing of the same nonsense always reaffirms I did the right thing. And pushing my kids to be around me more.