co-parenting resources?

[sevenyears]

Is our family wizard app useful if only one parent uses it? Specifically, can I use it to check the tone of emails? Are there any other online resources that you know about for checking the tones/emotions in my messages?

[Penny Lane]

OFW does have a tone meter, although I think you have to pay extra for it.

Even without the tone meter, communications between BM and DH did get better on OFW. Not specifically because of the tone meter (he doesn't pay for it and I doubt she does - if anything he uses me as a tone meter when he wants to tone something down). I think more like psychologically she feels like she has to tone herself down because it's being more formally documented.

I don't really see a huge benefit if the other parent isn't using it - for us at least the tone meter wouldn't be worth the amount you pay for it. Maybe you'd get more out of it, though.

The reality is that nothing is going to make for truly good communications between the two of them, and probably the same deal with your ex.

[sevenyears]

Thanks Penny. My Ex refuses to use OFW or any other app (I've researched dozens of them). I'm learning not to react or get defensive when he gaslights, and usually I wait at least a day before sending before sending my response after I've written it. That is helping a lot, but I still have a way to go.