New and exhausted

[H3209]

I'm out for a drive right now.  My SO was home from being out of town for 4 days and we got in a fight in 5 minutes.   He said so many jerky things and I was so happy he was home, until he totally jerked out.  Now we will be all tense and weird with each other for days.   
He came home and I gave him a cheerful greeting kiss and hug.  I said you smell good.  And he said Yeah i do shower.    I mean what the heck kind of response is that after you haven't seen your loved one for 4 days? 
Then I got quizzed on how all our plants were cared for while he was gone.  Then he wanted to know why I didn't do something and I didnt because I didn't know how to use the tool and I was busy and I would like him to show me how.  He responded that is what the internet is for. 
Finally something I did made him angry.  It was a honest mistake.  I said oh my goodness I'm sorry.  And he kept going on how disgusting it was and how it's no way to come home and blah blah blah.  I got mad and did you've been known to do the same thing before and I don't yell at you.  It was a mistake and I'm sorry.  He went on to say don't give me excuses about your sainthood. 

What???

I just left the house and went for a drive.  He was home 5 freaking minutes..   he will blame me for one in attention to detail and I'll have to walk on eggshells for the next week. 

It's ridiculous.  I'm so mad and sad. 


If he hates me so much that he doesn't want to come home, then just leave....
I've said that to him once and he took it as a threat.  I'm beginning to say take it as one, because I'm totally fine alone. 

[Boat Babe]

That's just horrible. That's no way to behave. I'm sorry that happened.  Couple of questions. Is your husband's behaviour escalating? Are you "walking on eggshells"? Do you feel confused and blindsided by your husband's behaviour? Maybe write these questions down and answers will come.
You might also find it helpful to look at the list of traits and behaviours on the Out of the FOG website. That helped me clarify a lot of things.

You're feeling hurt and heartsore right now and it's a painful place to be. So many of us here have experienced this. It sucks.  We are here for you.

[September1234]

H3209, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. What you described as your thoughts sounds like a labyrinth to me, trying to decipher the right way to act. I think that the board for relationships (and others) would be helpful for you to check out.
Sending you support, I understand that this is very unnerving (a hug if it's ok)

[Lauren17]

H3209,
Welcome to Out of the FOG. You are not alone and you've found a place where people will listen, understand, and provide support.
What you've described sounds like a very common scenario out of the early years of my marriage. Right down to the "I do shower" comment.  Somehow, I always  ended up apologizing to bring back the peace.  This forum has been so helpful as I've worked though setting boundaries.
Check out the traits and the toolbox. They really do help. Keep posting. We'll be here.