I filed!

[Bunnyme]

 
I did it!  I filed the paperwork for what is basically a legal separation that we will amend to a full divorce complaint.  This gets me in line in the horribly backed up system, though.  He will be served in about 10 days to 2 weeks.
I also found out yesterday that the financing on my new house was approved and that the appraisal came in on target.  After the great inspection I had, the house is pretty much a done deal.  I did sort of tell him that i *may* have found a place (he knew i was looking) and what school district it is in.  I told the kids we were moving and didn't want it to come through them or put them in that position if they said something to him.  I have full legal custody right now, so I dont need his permission. 
A hard road ahead, for sure, and this may all be a disaster, but I feel like I'm at least taking control of my own destiny instead of always reacting to him. 

[Poison Ivy]

 

[Boat Babe]

It may be a hard road Bunnyme but it won't be a disaster. The disaster would be staying in the marriage.

The Holidays won't be easy but keep your eyes on the prize. This is the best present to yourself and your children ever!

We are all delighted for you.

[GettingOOTF]

These are some solid steps. It's great you are able to make these moves while you have legal custody and he's distracted. It took my ex a while to realize I was serious and that gave me time to get a lot figured out. He agreed to pretty much everything I suggested as he assumed it would be temporary. He never asked if it was permanent and I never told him it wasn't.

[Phoenix Rising]

Way to go! 

[Bunnyme]

I think he knows something is up, as I haven't been talking to him when he calls...just handing the phone to the kids.  He does know I am buying a house, so it wont be a total shock.  He called tonight and knew the kids werent here.  I told him we needed to discuss the furniture.  He was sickeningly agreeable.  Oh, whatever furniture you need.  I will make due with what is left, etc., etc..  I'm wise enough now to know that he is setting me up to be the bad guy who took all of the furniture.  Hoovering, manipulation, whatever it is.  I'm going to send an email after I figure out what I want with a list so that it is documented.