His Lawyer Submitted a Ridiculously Lowball Settlement Proposal. Normal?

[LiftingFog]

That's good advice, Pushit.  Hearing nothing right away can be a good thing.  And now that my lawyer has responded to directly and to the point, I think I'll be able to relax a little more if/when there's another lull in communication.

I'm finding my anger this evening.  The more I think about things (now that I don't have brain fog), the more I believe that my uNPDh purposely left some expenses out of what he told his lawyer.  He was hoping that because I "wasn't able to think clearly and needed to up my meds" that I'd be disorganized and forgetful and wouldn't catch anything left out.  He has underestimated me.

[GettingOOTF]

My ex underestimated me too. He still thinks he "won" and I never tried to convince him otherwise. I won the only thing I wanted other than my freedom and that was all my assets.

[pushit]

One other thing is my lawyer told me that he strictly does not respond to anything over the weekend.  He said he has to create that boundary between work and his personal life, or else he would be experiencing the misery people are going through 24/7.  Makes sense to me, although it gave me a few stressful weekends in the beginning when my ex was acting out.  So, you might take that into account and not expect much from your lawyer over the weekend.

If your ex withheld information from his attorney and the attorney finds out about it from your side, then your ex just did you a favor.  His lawyer won't trust him as much now.  This same kind of thing happened in my divorce.  In the beginning my ex's lawyer was attacking me constantly, it faded over a couple months as we exposed all the misinformation that my ex was feeding her attorney by providing documentation.  We ended up settling in one mediation session, within 5 months of filing.  Looking back with a clearer head now, it's obvious her lawyer wanted nothing to do with a trial and having to explain things away in front of a judge.

Feeling anger is okay, just don't let it consume you and knock you off center.  I remember that feeling.  I was very angry at the way she had treated me, and then denied it and tried to claim it was me who was abusive to her.  It can make you want to "punish" them legally, thankfully that's another thing my lawyer helped me move past.  It's really best to just cut off the pain and suffering and put them behind you.  Who knows why they withhold information in these cases, all it does is backfire on them.  My ex still plays games like this to this day.  It's like they want to push buttons for a reaction from you until they get caught, and then they have a convincing excuse as to why it's not their fault.

[LiftingFog]

My unpdH's lawyer has responded.


"Thank you for the response.

Let me look into Ms. xxxxx's response deeper and get back to you.

I am not opposed to a joint meeting, let me get more information and I will circle back to you."

My good friends have said that this is good and it seems that his lawyer wasn't given all the information.

I'm cautiously optimisitic.

[GettingOOTF]

Yes. He clearly didn’t tell his attorney the whole story, which I said was likely from the start.

I’d let it play out. My friend’s ex blamed his attorney saying the attorney suggested the ridiculous demands, but they settled pretty quickly after she set my attorney on them. It’s clear he told his attorney a bunch of lies and they came after her with ridiculous demands. She wasn’t even working at the time and he was demanding alimony, medical benefits and college tuition.

[LiftingFog]

Yep, that's what I plan on doing - letting it all play out.

I truly do hope that his lawyer now sees him in a different light.  And since I have all of the documentation to back up my figures, there's nothing he can say to save face, other than "I forgot".   

[pushit]

Definitely sounds like he withheld information from his lawyer.  This only serves to benefit you.  The more it happens the better.  Now you know to expect it and won't be surprised when the next crazy thing comes across.  Just remain calm and keep sharing the truth when necessary.

[LiftingFog]

I will do my best to stay calm.  This response from his lawyer has definitely helped!

I know I keep saying it, but thank you ALL so much for your advice, support, and virtual handhold. 

I hope your lives are filled with peace and love this holiday season!  <3