I feel like I'm just running away

[Prototypian]

I just arrived after a full day of driving with my brother in law's to a tiny mountain town in colorado.   Tomorrow I'll be taking the keys and finalizing the purchase of a building in their downtown that has an apartment on the second story and a retail tenant on the ground floor. 

My uOCPd spouse has no idea.   My family supports this.   I did some mega consulting on the side to earn the money. 

I live in so much fear of her and I've learned to tell no one no under any circumstances.   I try not to disappoint anyone. I feel like the way I'm behaving is a sort of passive aggressive escapism .   She has no idea I took this trip; she thinks I went to my sister's home.   If all works out I'd like to move up here for a while and work remote.   My employer is fine with it and I can consult from.anywhere.  I think this will cause an enormous explosion but I won't be there to take the brunt of it.

[BeautifulCrazy]

Jsinjin, it is normal and healthy to get yourself out of harm's way. Overriding your self-preservation instinct is not.

To leave a situation that causes pain, fear and distress is adaptive and positive, not passive aggressive.

I'd say running away is, literally, exactly what you should be doing.
Escaping. Not escapism. Don't let that fear, obligation or guilt creep in and keep you trapped.

You have come so far!! I'm so proud of you! I'm sure you remember how crushingly similar my relationship with my OCPD husband was.... Let me reassure you, there is so much fantastic living on the other side!! (Nearly 6 months out now!)

You've worked long and hard for this, Jsinjin and the prize is within easy reach. You've got this.
So many of us are walking alongside you and sending you strength.

Peace and joy to you friend. Happy Christmas.

~BC

[Associate of Daniel]

You've certainly take  some big and scary steps, Jsinjin! 

I think BC is right.   You are doing the natural thing of getting yourself out of harm's way.

So yes, you're running away - but from harm.

But think of it also as running TO something. To safety. To better mental and physical health. To a better life.

Let us know how you go.

AOD

[Boat Babe]

The gazelle that runs away from the lion lives to frolic another day.

Please don't feel guilty. When I left uPDexbf I wrote down some of the horrible things he accused me of, his alcoholism, his mysogyny, his delusions, etc etc. Everytime I missed him, I looked at this and it really stiffened my resolve.

Good luck.

[Kat54]

Congratulations on the purchase Jsinjin. You have come so far, and you are saving yourself so no you are not running away. Continued best of luck to you. The other side is everything you will be hoping for, peace, calm, and happiness. The beginning may be rough and getting over more hurdles to get there, but you will find its all worth it.

[Lauren17]

This a huge step. Well done!
I haven't yet gotten the courage to leave H, but I did switch jobs to leave an abusive friendship a few years ago. It felt very much like running away, even tho my brain said it was self preservation. Now I can see it was the best decision I could make for myself, not running away
I highly recommend getting out into that crisp, thin, mountain air and breathing.

[ShyTurtle]

Often, "running away" is the only true option when it comes to splitting up with pd people. To do anything other than a covert operation/fleeing secretly is the most efficient way to create the necessary physical distance. So really, you're not running away as much as doing what's necessary under the circumstances to reclaim your inner peace. Wishing you all the best <3