New year, new member

[queenserena]

Hello all,

I've been searching for a support community or forum dealing with narcissism and haven't had any luck, until my therapist recommended this site.

I am so surprised--but also not surprised--to read stories here almost identical to my own experiences. It's eerie and validating at the same time. I've spent more than a year-and-a-half researching and learning about having a narcissist spouse. We've been married nearly 20 years, and it's beyond time for me to take back control of my own life, after coming to the horrible realization that none of this has been real; there never was a genuine relationship and there never will be. I basically have one foot out the door and plan to physically separate myself in the next few months.

I have a small but loving support system with good intentions, but I firmly believe there's no way anyone can completely understand your life if they have not been in the same situation. (This is true of all types of abuse.) That's why I'm glad to have found this forum. I hope to learn from others, and also contribute some of my own experiences, because I know how lonely and crazy these abusers can make you feel.

[bloomie]

Hello there and welcome. Thanks for letting us know what brings you here. I hope you find the resources at the drop down menus above and in other parts of the forum to be a support and help for you.

I can closely relate to finding it eerie and still validating that sadly, there are many of us who have experienced these common behaviors and traits in those we hold most close. I have found such healing here and my hope is that you do too.

When you are ready, join the conversations taking place on the forum boards. It really does help lighten a heavy load! So thankful you found us and joined the community!

[ShyTurtle]

...but I firmly believe there's no way anyone can completely understand your life if they have not been in the same situation.

I agree! I have been in a marriage with a covert narcissist, and an 8 year relationship with a bpd/npd individual. Unless you've walked that path, you don't know how devastating it all is.

Welcome!

[tragedy or hope]

Welcome queenserena!

Take your time with this site. Take bits and pieces that work for you. I agree, unless one is in the situation, onlookers don't really have a clue.

The one thing I have found here is that our feelings and observations are so similar that we find support, encouragement and even some coping skills.

Great way to start new year, and maybe a new you. 

[queenserena]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. There's great information here. I've spent a good part of the day learning the acronyms and the key traits of personality disorders! Thanks also to everyone sharing their personal experiences and supporting others.