unpacking the past with a pd

[ShyTurtle]

My mind keeps going back to a time when I called out my pd (unpd/ubpd) ex on his behaviors, and he would actually start to cry and tell me I made him feel crazy...like I was gaslighting him after merely explaining my experience. When he then told me I was making stuff up felt like gaslighting to him, I started to question if I was the pd person. I was so deep in the fog then and it took therapy to find my way out.

Now many months out of the relationship, I STILL question my own mental health and behaviors, even though when I really check in with myself, I know I am a dedicated truth teller, and that I strive to be kind. When you can't see your own self in the fog anymore, you know you're in it thick.

This is the damage done by staying with a pd person for 8 years. If I had stayed, I don't know how much more I would have lasted, because I was giving up on life.

[Boat Babe]

Yeah, the absolute worst (and there are many) aspect of PD abuse is the total loss of Self. This is, I believe, the primary goal of PD abuse because it means they can control you.

When you leave such a person the emotional and psychological damage is really severe. We all know that here.   And having spent extended  time with batshit crazy, any sane person would be hyper aware of the importance of sanity.

I'd say that you're on the threshold of a new phase in your healing.

[ShyTurtle]

I'd say that you're on the threshold of a new phase in your healing.

Thanks, Boat Babe. It's been a long journey but I feel like I am too. Things are looking up in great ways now! I only wish I had found this forum sooner!