Bats#&t revisited

[11JB68]

Someone used to have a running thread here with crazy quotes/scenarios... Here's one
Updh: I was thinking about you today and I cried....I was thinking how you are healthy and take care of yourself, and I don't, and you'll outlive me and I cried because you'll be lonely

[sevenyears]

11JB68 - those threads were great. thanks for restarting.

UNOCPD XH: DS would loose 30 minutes of sleep if he attends the school teaching in your language
Me: uummm, how about adjusting his bedtime when he starts school?
UNOCPD XH: DS has the right to sleep.

[Call Me Cordelia]

11JB68- Sounds like an angle to inspire you to step up your caretaking skillz. 

[11JB68]

Cordelia good point.
I think it's more likely projection... He has often indicated he'd curl up and die if I died or left him.
AND also probably fishing for me to say something like 'oh yes that would be awful I would be SOOO lonely without you'

[ShyTurtle]

bpd: "From now on I expect you to not leave clean dishes to dry on the drying mat, and you must dry and put them away immediately."

bpd next day - 2 sinks completely full of dirty dishes

bpd week later - dirty dishes and food drips everywhere

[11JB68]

Updh Basically told ds today "if I want your opinion I'll ask for it... Otherwise...."
Must be nice to be right all the time and not care what anyone thinks..
Then later wanted to engage me in further discussion about how mad it made him that ds offered an opinion... And totally misinterpreted what ds had suggested anyway... I mc'd didn't jade did not engage. I acknowledged that he was mad, commented that he had expressed to ds his thoughts, so...

[Fae Greenwood]

"Maybe now it will meet your standards."

He washed some wine glasses and left them literally covered with greasy fingerprints. I discovered them the next day and was re-washing them when he came into the kitchen and gave a brief stuff-happens-no-problem explanation. The reality is that he's been "helping" me for weeks by doing jobs purposely poorly around the house and that included badly washing the glasses. I've been washing them before using for at least four months. Later, when he again was washing the glasses, he handed them to me and asked "Maybe now it will meet your standards." Really? They'd looked like someone had rubbed them with a butter wrapper so I don't think my standards are impossibly high.  I also found out that day that he doesn't use soap. He says he does, but he put a dot on the cloth then immediately rinsed it off before touching a glass.  I've also repeatedly asked him to stop using the cloth towel I use for drying my hands to wipe his nose. Now he's complaining about how many paper towels I use. And he does not wipe his nose, he scratches the bottom of it with the towel so aren't I put in my place. Damn my impossibly high standards!

[SonofThunder]

11JB68, I used to enjoy that Bats#&t thread as well and now will again 😃.  Thanks for bringing it back! 

SoT

[sevenyears]

ME: I will fill out DD8's school form. The school asked not to send separate forms. Do you [insert request from school]?

UNOCPDXH: Why are YOU filling out the form? Are YOU the boss? I guess I missed something.

 

Me (silently to myself): It's a bloody form, *W##**(Q#)*! He hates forms - why is he making such an issue of this??

Post scriptum: The questions were yes/no. He managed to screw the form up.  He has a PhD. sigh.

[losingmyself]

"For someone who says they don't like shirts that say something on them, you sure wear a lot of them."
HU???
I work at a very casual place that makes shirts. I get most of them for free, or just a couple dollars. I also pick up shirts that I like that say things on them.
I pretty much always wear t shirts that say something on them. And I have never said I don't like them, that wouldn't make sense. I just said "I said that? I don't remember that. Hu..."
He just doesn't like the last one I got. Probably because I didn't get him one to store in his side of the closet forever, too.
Then he said " Oh! That's why you didn't take off your jacket at lunch yesterday!"
Like I was trying to hide the fact that I was wearing it. I did take off my jacket, just not my sweatshirt. I also didn't take off my sweatshirt the rest of the afternoon when I went back to work, which I mentioned. I don't give one flying f if he likes it or not.
Gaslighting. It's nice to recognize it.
But sometimes it's just   Batsh***t

[Lauren17]

I found out during our first year of marriage that H had cheated on me during our engagement. His response was that he was doing the same thing to me I'd done to him. "What?! I never cheated on you." He pointed to my relationship with my high school boyfriend. Somehow, me dating another person years before I even met H was equivalent to him cheating while we were planning our wedding. 
On a lighter note: Fae, I'm relieved to learn I'm not the only one who has that "ridiculous" rule regarding wiping noses with my dish towels.

[Cascade]

Wow Lauren, that's really crazy, sorry he he hurt you like that!

[Matteblak]

uPDS: who didn't flush the toilet?

Me: I just went in the other bathroom so not me

uPDS: you are such a liar, just admit it.

9 yr old son: mom it was me

uPDS: stop trying to cover for your father!

...2 hours later, uPDS pees and doesn't flush and leaves the empty TP roll for me to change.

[Stillirise]

I made an entire post about this, but it's still a good one!

StbxUPDh is a tall man. He believes this is because he was smaller than his peers in adolescence, so he willed his tallness into existence in his late teens. For years, I thought he was joking about it. A few years ago, I joked about it as well, at which point, he angrily clarified it was true.

[SparkStillLit]

Still, I think this is hilariously mad. I did read about it in another post of yours, and.....yikes.

[Free2Bme]

updh: "Free2Bme, let's finally remodel the kids bathroom, okay?"

Me: "Sure, that'd be great, I'm excited!"

-We work every weekend together on it for over a month, then, when it's all finished .....

updh:  With sarcastic, angry inflection, "I finished it, it's your Christmas present Free2Bme."

Me: 

[Fae Greenwood]

"It turns out it's just soap and water."

It's not what he said, it's what he's doing right this moment. We are helping our DD and SIL purchase a home in a better neighborhood and are about 10 days until close of escrow. It's a white-hot market and getting a house is hard so we are buying it and will sell to DD in a year or so after they sell their current home and build up their credit rating. We do not yet own this house. He, with the permission of the seller's agent, got the code for the key lockbox for this empty house so we could get estimates on flooring, painting, etc. as we need to move quickly. It's a common practice in our area with empty homes. We were explicitly told that we were to call our own agent before entering the home. We will be repainting the entire house and replacing all the flooring. I had two clear conversations with him that other than getting preplanned estimates with, again, agent notification we are not to enter the house. Last night I had a tense talk with him about boundaries as it will be DD's house when the process is finished. I've had to insist that no work can begin on the house until we actually own it and we can place deposits for work but will not be purchasing non-refundable materials until escrow has closed.

So today he is currently "deep cleaning" a house we don't yet own, specifically the blinds that DD and SIL have already said will be replaced when they move in, plus countertops that will soon be covered with remodeling dust and debris and bathrooms that will soon have the flooring replaced, all in a house that has already been cleaned before showing. God forbid that the owner stops by today to check on the house. The tub and showers could truthfully use a good scrub but oddly he didn't ask about that. Hmm....

Oh, and he proudly told me that he's researched how to clean painted composite blinds, with just soap and water. I invite you to guess how often he's worried about how to clean the similar wooden blinds in our home. If you guess more than zero, you are wrong.

[SparkStillLit]

This thread is weirdly validating!! I know not to think I'm crazy, but....it's really not me. OTHER PEOPLE have gone through these same things!

[SparkStillLit]

PD blowout yesterday. But this was said "I'm tired of playing second fiddle to my wife"
W-T-F. Was that a flash of true colors? Who SAYS that?!? What does it even mean???
I've been saying it's getting worse with covid, no employment (him, I've been happily employed all along), no contact with people except the ones he's "worked on". Every time he drives or goes to the store he seems to have some disagreeable interaction (hopefully not outwardly, but certainly in his head).
That statement.....WOW.

[SonofThunder]

PD blowout yesterday. But this was said "I'm tired of playing second fiddle to my wife"
W-T-F. Was that a flash of true colors? Who SAYS that?!? What does it even mean???
I've been saying it's getting worse with covid, no employment (him, I've been happily employed all along), no contact with people except the ones he's "worked on". Every time he drives or goes to the store he seems to have some disagreeable interaction (hopefully not outwardly, but certainly in his head).
That statement.....WOW.

Sorry things are getting worse with COVID.  I'm going to take your question literally and sorry if you did not mean it literally as a question. 

In a music band where there are many of the same instrument (think orchestra), there are parts in which the specific instrument types play in the entire piece, and when everyone plays their parts, but together, it sounds fantastic and 'full'. 

So let's say in this make-believe band, there are in 4 trumpets, 4 violins (we will call them fiddles since they are the same instrument by a different name), 4 flutes.  Each of the instrument types have 4 separate lines of notes that must be played, but together, so that each of the 4 are playing slightly different notes that all harmonize with each other. 

Looking at the fiddles, there are 4 fiddles and each is playing their own set of notes. The fiddle parts of the music have numbers.  1st fiddle, 2nd fiddle, 3rd fiddle and 4th fiddle.  Typically the most talented of the fiddle players is 1st fiddle and the less talented down the line. 

So, playing "second fiddle", is saying that your spouse is feeling less talented, less important than first fiddle (you).  That comment is usually said in disgust, as the person who is not being treated with the highest importance or highest talent/highest contributor, is feeling mistreated and so therefore, they believe they deserve better than the person in the 'first fiddle' position. 

SoT