Hello again. It's been a while. Overcoming the PTSD?

[blahblah]

Hi. Maybe some of you will remember me. Maybe you won't:)
My wife has been battling anxiety and traits of BPD.
She has gone through treatment and we are seeing a therapist together.

We are doing very well, and have been for the past 6 months or so. A definite improvement, and the past 3 months (once couples therapy really started kicking in) have been VERY good!

I am now in a place where I am optimistic about the future. I have hope and belief that things will work out fine and that I will have a good life.
I used to be a very happy go lucky person, but not so much anymore (+ive gotten older, which always takes a pit of the spunkyness out of you).

BUT!
I still have a pit in my stomach.
From all the stress and couped up emotions. A sort of PTSD. Shell shock.

What have you done to relieve this?

I will start seeing a therapist on my own next week, and about once a month I recieve treatment from a massouse that does something called Body SDS. Basically massaging trauma out of the body.

Nothing has really helped that much (yet).
I want to enjoy spring and feel light and easy and fully HAPPY! but there is something blocking my energy (the pit in the stomach).
We also just bought a house that we will be moving into in a month and I want to feel the joy inside of me. Not just be positive about it.

Any advice?
I wake up with a pit in my stomach every day. Some days more than others, but it's always there.

Thanks

[1footouttadefog]

I had times when I felt that pit.

It was because I was denying the truth and normalizing yet more PD abuse as okay because things were peaceful on the surface and the household was running smoothly enough.

In my reality I was being parentified and taking in more of what should be shared responsibility to make things work.  And....at the same time giving up any hope of being known for myself in a real intimacy with an adult.

I hope your situation is not as mine, I hope you find an amswer in your upcoming therapy.

And cudos for seeking the massage therapy. You need and deserve self care.

[melw82]

Great to hear things are going well! Wish you both continued success and love!

I was diagnosed with PTSD from a situation where my mind actually went into shock during 1 particular episode with the (now long-gone ex). The dreams / nightmares were of reliving all the senses, emotions, feelings, sights, smells, sounds, temperature, colours and even taste from this episode. I would wake up suddenly screaming having already been crying in my sleep. I was a total mess the day after that

It's taken a while, but they have overtime stopped. I found a dream journal helped a lot. So writing down your dream as soon as you wake up. It might feel embarrassing to do this at the time. I then would then read this journal back to myself out loud at random times of the day. I guess it helped me to understand a situation that deeply haunted me, whilst in a different state of mind. One of calm or critical thinking - like your mind when taking a break and having a brew or between work when my mind is focussed.

This was also a weird thing for me to do, but seemed to take away the level of threat it presented me with. I used to close my eyes and try to relive the moment and describe out loud to my therapist. She would ask me to open my eyes and look at her at times she wanted me to stop and discuss feelings. That helped me a lot actually.

Everyone's different, everyone will deal with things differently, but for me, those 2 things helped along the way. I think both exercises lessened the feeling of threat of the PTSD.

Hope that helps!

[blahblah]

Thanks a lot to both of you. And yes each situation is very different. For me I think it is simply bottled up emotions that I have denied in the past. As of now I am much more frank with my wife and how I feel, but still something I have to work on. Both because it is in my nature to gloss over things, but also because, in the past, there would be hell to pay if I said anything.

Will probably just need more time and to readjust to knowing that I can exist with all my feelings as well. That is the reality, but I think my body needs to know that as well.
Please keep more thoughts coming.