Nmom lost her job, neglegting cat

Started by starshine23, January 31, 2021, 05:38:11 PM

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starshine23

So... Recently my Nmother was laid off.  She is 74 years old and worked in a gift shop.  Although she has a masters degree in library science, most of her life she has worked as a clerk, or done odd jobs, or even sold her baking, homemade soap and art.  Needless to say she has always just scraped by and has no savings, will never retire, etc.  A few years back she was evicted.  She claimed it was for no reason but I later learned she just stopped paying rent.  I helped her to find a new apartment, and for my efforts she turned her whole side of the family against me.  (Her sister sent me nasty emails, etc.  I guess she told them I was being mean because I was insisting she move out of her home after she was evicted.  She was making no moves to move out and I had to find her a new place to live even though I live across the country!)

Now she tells me she has been laid off.  She says she just can't believe it after 8 years of working at this store.  I can believe it.  She constantly talked trash about everyone she worked with, was lazy at her job, and I suspect she was stealing.  So now she has no job.  I suggested she apply at the local grocery or hardware but she feels these jobs are beneath her.  She says she plans on "going into editing."  Not sure how she will obtain this job now at 74 years old with minimal experience in said job.  She says she will have to "dust off" her resume."  Ugh.  She will get unemployment for a while and her job gave her severence pay, but she says she is going to "take her time and find something she really likes."  Not sure how hitre-able she is honsestly,  I would not want to be her employer!  I am concerened she will just stop paying rent again and get evicted...  Ugh.

Many years ago I lived with her and I brought my cat.  When I moved out she begged and pleaded to keep him, and I caved.  Now years later she says he can no longer jump up on the counter and all his fur is falling out.  I begged and begged her to take him to the vet.  She claims she did and the vet's diagnosis was that "the cat is bored."  Hmmm... I doubt she really took him to the vet at all.  Yesterday she exploded at me, saying she never should have told me about the cat's issues and that he is "well loved and cared for," when clearly he is not.  Ugh again.

Not sure what the point of this post is besides to vent.  Now I just get to wait for the other shoe to drop.  Dreading the news that she has once again been evicted, or that my cat has passed away,
It takes strength to be a good person.  That's why the biggest bullies are truly the weakest cowards.

SparkStillLit

My concern is for the poor CAT! Can you take him or her back??

starshine23

I am planning on it, but I love across the country and of course COVID makes it almost impossible to travel.  I am going to do my best to go this summer and rescue him.  I am in grad school right now and cannot leave until then.
It takes strength to be a good person.  That's why the biggest bullies are truly the weakest cowards.

SparkStillLit

Ohhh. I get it.  How stressful for you! Hugs to you. SHE will land on her feet... or not. Try not to worry for your kitty. Do you have any connections, maybe, or even a rescue in the area that might be able to assist?

GettingOOTF

Starshine23 Im sorry for this situation. It sounds frustrating. You have no control over your mother and what she does or doesn't do. I know how hard it is to detach ourselves from our parents, but your mother is an adult and she has made her own choices. She is also old enough that she very likely is not going to change.

If she stops paying her rent that is her choice and she will need to deal wirh the consequences. The same with the cat. It's a terribly sad situation but this is her situation not yours. My ex did something very similar. Begged and threatened re the cat. I gave in and then he abandoned the cat. I felt awful but I was in no position to take the cat back. At the end of the day it was my ex's choice to do what he did.  I now see that he never wanted the cat he just wanted to take the cat from me.