Hi, I made a big scary decision

[Chrysanthemum]

Hello!

I am in a fulfilling marriage to a person who, unfortunately, comes from a challenging family background. We recently took the terrifying step of going No Contact with my SIL (uPD), and with my N-MIL and N-FIL.

It has been incredibly difficult to admit to ourselves that the way we have been treated for years is actually verbal and emotional abuse. It inspires a whole lot of emotions: why didn't I do this before? Why have I been a doormat letting this person walk all over me? Why did I behave in certain ways that hurt others, in order to protect myself in the moment?

Unsurprisingly, our decision has been taken poorly, and we are being harassed right now (from a distance, thanks only to the pandemic). I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't stop wanting to throw up. I have been reading Out of the FOG a lot and shaking my head over and over again at the patterns I've experienced that match exactly what I'm reading. (Also, I am seeing a therapist.)

I hope to learn more from others on here and continue processing this weird, nightmarish experience.

Wishing everyone all the best. Hope I can get a grasp on all these acronyms.

[notrightinthehead]

You are welcome! So glad you found us and sorry you had to.
Coming Out of the FOG is a painful experience and can have physical symptoms as it does in your case.  I used to be furious and needed a lot of physical workouts. Once the FOG has lifted you will never go back. There are many fellow travellers on this journey. Looking forward to seeing you around!

[Chrysanthemum]

Thank you for your support!

[Spring Butterfly]

Welcome and please head over to the toolbox at the top of the forum paying special attention to the last section what to do. That's where your healing journey will begin and settling from all the various Hoover's being thrown at you attempting to pull you back into the abuse cycle. (check out hoover and abuse cycle in the Top 100 Traits for details so you can see clearly what's happening.

Take a deep breath, you've got this, they will attempt to control you through FOG (fear obligation guilt) but it doesn't work unless you grant power to them and cave to their shenanigans so hold steady. You're in a safe place now with an entire community to support and hold space for you