Legal seperation under same roof

[Freetobe]

I habe retained a lawyer and i live in new york. Did anyone here stay living together? How did it work, did you have seperate kitchen space? I was under the assumption you cannot live as a couple? I am in a seperate bedroom, but fear when i tell my spouse its over, i want a seperation at least until my son goes to college in 4 years, i just cant see going from a family life to a single life living under the same roof

[Poison Ivy]

There are two aspects to this: the legal and the practical. Have you asked your lawyer about the legal effect of you living in the same household as your spouse?

[Kat54]

I lived under the same roof with my spouse for a little bit. It was too difficult. Even though I stayed up on our 3rd floor in a bedroom, it was soo stressful and found it quite strange as we would get along kind of, I would come home from work, cook dinner we would all hang out and watch TV, but it was really terrible and I had to leave because I thought I might take my own life at one point from the verbal abuse that escalated. And it was a build up of 24 years of verbal abuse.
I lived in New York, and legally it was fine for me to move out without any risk of losing the house to my ex, as New York state is a 50/50 division of assets. My name was on the owners deed with him. But please consult with a lawyer before you make any decisions.

If you have a good support system and good family or friends then move out if you can or ask your spouse to move out, especially if you have children. Unless you both are very amicable and absolutely get along considering the situation then stay. You have to think about you and your mental health and if you have kids and how it affects them.

[1footouttadefog]

I have been living as a roomate with my spouse for years.  Its not practical to separate legally and I did not want to risk a 50/50 custody situation. 

Now my kids are almost grown, both are in college but one is still a minor.

In the duration, my spouse now has the onset of dementia in addition to several other psychiatric diagnoses.  Its to the point I am in tue process if taking gardianship to protect assets from outside influence as he is vulnerable.

Up to now, I have not dated etc.  Once I am his gardian, I will consider him an adult child and will be open to having dinner out etc of the opportunity arises.  We have been roomates and not acting married for a decade. He has so parentified me it would feel wrong to be intimate if he could or wanted to be, yet he has shown no interest. 

I have a finished basement with a bed and bath and kitchette.  It has french doors at one end and a patio so its like a nice apartment.  I feel blessed to have a separate space.  I habe been rearranging and updating things during this bad weather and am liking the new arrangement.