Improving how I deal with conflict

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Improving how I deal with conflict
« on: February 14, 2021, 11:13:24 PM »
I'm in a situation with some conflict. I've tried to tackle it head on, and not avoid the issue. I'm pleased with myself for being brave, but I was nervous which made me somewhat reactive and less clear-headed. However, it's a step forward - at least I've done something and hopefully this experience will help me feel more confident.

How do you deal with this? I have strategies to sort through my own emotions - meditation, journalling, etc. I'm working on taking deep breaths and managing the physiological response - staying aware and in the moment helps. It's all a work in progress but I know I'm moving forward. But I still find that dealing with conflict is a challenge, because I don't really have a blueprint for how interactions with conflict should go.

If you do reply, please give detail - what is the process you use to improve your judgment & communication?
How do you pick up on when you should say something, and how do you decide what to say?
How do you know when you're making progress, and how do you know when you're going too far?
I'm autistic so I need that level of detail; what might seem obvious to you isn't to me.
I'm getting much better at reading myself and others, but I just don't have the social script yet - I'm learning it all now. Thank you.


Penny Lane

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Re: Improving how I deal with conflict
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2021, 01:57:44 PM »
I don't have answers to all your questions. But I do have one strategy that works for me: Practice what I want to say in uncomfortable situations.

If you know you are going to be faced with a potentially unpleasant conflict, think through what you want to accomplish and what words you want to say. Even practice out loud in front of a mirror.

I prefer to handle it in writing when possible although sometimes that ends up escalating the issue more. So it really depends on the situation.

I find that I build up potential conflicts in my head and then it becomes a much bigger deal, when resolving them takes much less time and energy than the amount of time I spent worrying about it.