I can see it for what it is

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JustKeepTrying

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I can see it for what it is
« on: April 16, 2021, 01:47:52 AM »
As we approach May, the spring month that every high school parent dreads with an endless list of banquets and parties, I realized something big today.  (Well, as endless as a pandemic will allow.  I realized that I am making decisions with my children - or giving them the information to make the decisions for themselves.  In an open and honest exchange of information.  Wow, it is life-altering man!

My son is a senior.  We are evaluating college offers.  In the past, it was so difficult because had to micromanage the process all along - well kind of.  I would beg him to participate and he would hem haw, come 30 min late to a family meeting, criticize a particular point on an application that was fine, you know all the stuff.  And then when we had a real deadline, up to the last minute he would jump in and suddenly have dozens of questions - why would you do that?  It doesn't make sense and I would be crying inside like - Why didn't you speak up earlier!

Today, my son submitted his last scholarship application  Sent a letter to colleges requesting them to reevaluate their financial aid offer.  Noone looking over our shoulder.  It felt so good!  So adult and normal.  Mind blowingly normal.

Of course, my OCPDxh controls the college fund.  I can't access it.  So I am doing all of this on the possibility that he won't pay.  This is the man who kicked my son out of the house for wanting to live with him instead of with me (concerns over covid and my health) and then kicked him off the health insurance.  And no communication since. 

So instead I am going to focus on the normalcy of the day.  One way or another, my kid is going to college.

I can't let my ex take it away from him.

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notrightinthehead

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Re: I can see it for what it is
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2021, 03:40:28 AM »
Well done! Such an eye opener when we realize how relaxed interactions can be and that normal people have this most of the time.
I can't hate my way into loving myself.