Where do I belong?

[square]

I am no longer dealing with a PD H.

Now with a non-PD but PTSD H.

A catastrophe - and I mean that - happened a few days ago.

The next months and maybe years will be devestating to him. He may not survive it. I am ready to support my non-PD PTSD husband.

Where can I get support? Where is there support for spouses of PTSD?

Not OOTS. I don't belong there because I'm a spouse.

[11JB68]

I'm so sorry to hear this, hoping your h can get through whatever it is. Sounds like he is blessed to have you by his side.
I don't know, but maybe try some military resources for info/support? Probably not exactly relevant but maybe a starting place?

[square]

Thanks, that's actually quite a good idea. Will search around.

[1footouttadefog]

If your spouse is dealing with the aftermath of a recent event a few days ago, it might not be considered a PTSD situation at this point.

He might just be processing and could come out of it all without PTSD.

I would seek counseling for him if possible. 

[square]

Sorry, wasn't clear. Trauma is from childhood. He had ptsd symptoms all the way back. Something in recent years jacked up the rage which was expressed in pd meltdown traits (darvo, etc). Rage is now miraculously gone due to a med. Ptsd remains. But while he needs a lot of support he has stopped taking everything out on us.

I honestly don't know whether new event is trauma. It's something that could be at that level or maybe just enormous stress. I'm assuming the latter but I could be wrong, but even so, it interplays indirectly with old trauma. Suicide was already an option for him before this happened.

Unfortunately, therapy is a sore point and unlikely to be agreed to. Have been thinking of talking to him about emdr though. All kinds of walls will go up just on the suggestion though.

[1footouttadefog]

Perhaps have him seek additional medical advise. There may be additional medications that can help.

And ptsd can come on in layers as someone ages.  My spouse was reasonable calm and normal until he hit the mid to late 50's.  Then things got worse in waves.  He used to overwork and exercise a lot to keep things level but at some point could not do enough as things progressed.

Anger built up, then other things like anxiety, and a feeling the world, I cludi g home was working against him. Then then then.....

[11JB68]

Maybe see what resources NAMI has, for him or also to support you.

[square]

I wish we could get medical or theraputic advice but he is dug in against it. Not just on this but especially on this. He just has an NP or PA (forget which) writing him scripts. Not sure she even asks how it's going and he certainly would answer nothing but fine/good.

I just now mentioned emdr and it was a hard no.

Still, it's so much better for me. He is under enormous stress. Days later we "had" to go to MIL's - which works him up a lot. So he started getting snippy with me like a normal stressed human being. I got snippy back. He apologized and it was fine.

Whaaaaaaat?

This should have been nuclear. It was just normal. I haven't been snippy cause the cost has been too high but it was... fine?


NAMI, good. Will be looking at that and vet stuff when I return.

[1footouttadefog]

If he is a veteran, meeting with other vets may do him a lot of good.  It was other vets that helped my spouse realize he needed to get some medical help.

[Free2Bme]

Hi square,

I am sorry for what you are going through.  I am not sure of where one could get support for spouses of PTSD, but I would call my local in/out patient mental facility for recommendations for resources.  Also, in my city there is a Jewish community center that offers quality low cost counseling to the community.  Maybe ask a T.

There is a new treatment called Deep TMS for depression that has not responded well to traditional approaches.  I think it uses magnetic resonance technology, supposedly it is FDA approved.  I know nothing about it and cannot recommend one way or another, just thought I would pass this along.

~take care