Blaming

[11JB68]

uPdh is the self described family expert on all things financial. He insists on doing our taxes himself by hand. Complains about it but insists on doing it. I end up being the scribe.... He has a whole process where he puts the numbers in a spread sheet then dictates them to me to fill in. He also 'helps' ds likewise.
Ds got a letter from the state that there was a small error on his taxes. Updh has to try to figure it out. Of course I have to participate in this. Thank goodness for medium chill.
He thought the problem was they were missing a w2 (ds had two jobs this year). So he started with: Did you send both w2s? Are you sure? Are you positive? In the past I would have become anxious and stressed and assumed I messed up. I mcd it. Said pretty sure but no way to prove one way or the other (shrug).
Finally Updh realizes.... One employer was out of state. So they did not withhold our state taxes. His error not mine. Then he says, well I wasn't accusing you. Me, calmly: yes you absolutely were.
He asks if this ever crossed my mind. I said well yes, I realize his employer is out of state, but I wasn't involved in doing his taxes. So he pretty much full circled back to it being at least partly my fault that I never mentioned it.

[SparkStillLit]

Updh does the same all around the mulberry bush until it's SOMEONE'S fault, but certainly not HIS. This includes changing bits of the story, even if it's contradictory, and everything.
I mc all this and have zero response past a mumble of some kind.
This is one of the things that's gotten a lot worse over the past year. Like I have no idea how he's going to interact with outside people, worse.