How do you deal with PD petty behaviour?

[BefuddledClarity]

Just got inspired recently to post...My partner decided to watching our show together without me because I joked about him being drunk and stumbling while trying to sit down. Now he's screaming at the tablet about things happening in show and I just walked away.

He gets mad very easily while drunk...He also hates when I turn down the TV a bit on loud scenes and gets petty by saying "I'll just turn it down to X and put on the subtitles if that's what you want."

My mom's pettiness is a bit different. If she doesn't like what you do, she acts very passive aggressive. Saying "BefuddledClarity is hard headed, she thinks she knows everything" within my earshot...on purpose to get me angry.

My father's pettiness is getting into arguments for the sale of arguing, he says he doesn't care if he'd wrong or right, he likes to push buttons on purpose.

My brothers...aren't petty at all.

My in-laws are petty. Alcoholic FiL gets verbally and occasionally physically abusive. FiL's wife is very discreet and will say something underhanded. MiL is blunt and rude, she ignored her son (my partner) for a year based on her overstaying her visit at our apartment (up to 2wks without consulting me ...). SiL isn't petty I guess, just shady in getting what she wants.

Are your Pads petty? If so, how do you deal with it?

My parents don't get to me anymore but my partner does...

[Cat of the Canals]

If PDmom is angry at you and can withhold something, she will absolutely delight in the pettiness of doing so. She got mad once when a distant cousin commented that my grandmother didn't like cousin's father. It was the truth, but PDmom decided her cousin was "throwing shade."  A few weeks later, this cousin called to tell my mom she was going to be in town. Usually my mom would demand cousin come stay at my parents' house, because she loves playing hostess. Instead, she bragged to me about how she specifically did NOT extend an invitation. She was practically cackling when she told me.

PDmil judges everyone constantly, but only about petty things. Recently she went to her niece's college graduation (on her in-law's side), and they all ate sandwiches while they watched the live-feed of the ceremony. It was niece's parents, grandparents, PDmil, and stepdad-in-law. Not so much a party as a small family gathering. But PDmil went on and on and ON about how SHE COULD NOT BELIEVE that niece's mom waited until the DAY OF the graduation to go buy the sandwiches. Like it was some major faux pas. We're still not sure why she found this so offensive. Niece's parents live out-of-state and were staying at a hotel. But PDmil is jealous of everything about her in-laws and so every story involves some petty judgment of them.

I limit contact with both as much as possible, but if they do aim their pettiness in my direction, I just grey rock. I think it would be harder if it was my partner. I think it takes a toll to grey rock for extended periods of time.