Any Weird Things that your PD spouse has asked you to do ?

[ploughthrough2021]

Today, my unpdw asked me to cut down a few large trunks from the neighbor's hedge as they are preventing the hedge to look nice on the side facing our yard.  I told her that, you can't just cut down a neighbor's hedge especially the trunks she pointed out are on their side of the garden on the other side of the dividing wooden fence !!!  Anyway, I told her that I will kindly ask them if they would like to do that (not knowing anything else better to say...).  She said that the neighbors would not do it so I have to do it.  I am  lost here... 

[notrightinthehead]

I am regularly cutting my neighbour's hedge on my side of the fence. I would not cut on their side. Does it bother you? If it does not bother you, you might want to just say 'No'. Which is a full sentence. Or, No, I will not do that.  Whoever is bothered by the growth of the greenery should do something. You might be called somebody who doesn't care about anything. That's what my H used to say about me.

You can however be supportive. You can say,  I see that the greenery bothers you. Or, I am sorry that the neighbours' fence offends your sense of beauty. or You feel strongly about those branches.  That way you acknowledge her feelings without commiting to any action on your side. You do not offer a solution to her problem, just emotional support.

[ploughthrough2021]

Thanks for your reply NotRightintheHead.  It does not bother me a bit.  In our last house, she had some dispute about a tree (on our side) with the neighbor and her dealings with the neighbor  basically went so sour that our relationship with the neighbor turned really bad.  So when she mentioned that, I really don't want the same to happen because the neighbors are so nice.  Yes, I will say no but also make sure that she doesn't ruin my good relationship with the neighbors.

[Dollydrops]

I had a similar thing with H. Ours has pretty wild growing flowers and extends over the folks at the back. They have said they love it as it is. They have a gate which the flowers grow over rhus taking the flowers a little higher that ours leaving a raised bump in the middle. I had a very heated argument with H who decided he could just take the trimmers into their garden without asking. "My plant so my  choice " was his typical reply. Took me hours to make him even listen that their garden is their property and he should keep the hell out because the neighbour us actually an adult and I've told him if he wants to trim it he's welcome yo do so. H does not like any decision being someone else's.