Stillirise...is a single person!!

[Stillirise]

About 3 years ago I started lurking here. Nearly 2 years to the day, after I registered and made my first post, I now officially have a UPDxH.

While I quietly celebrate this as a personal victory, I'm still mindful that my children have suffered the loss of what they thought was an ideal family unit.  I remind myself that it was far from ideal during the marriage, and is better, now—just different.

I sit today, on the shoulders of the giants of this forum, who have gone before me down this path.  Not one person here has ever said they got into a marriage, wanting it to fail. Not one person here has ever said they were happy they had to choose divorce.  What I now understand is how great the feeling is, to clear the fog, and realize I did what I had to do, for myself and my children.  It took more strength and perseverance than I thought I had, when I came here in the beginning, struggling for answers.  No one was coming to save me.  I now feel like I've saved myself, and my kids.  We are no longer beholden to the daily whims of a disordered person.  I'm still able to hold empathy for him, as a disordered individual, but I no longer have to hold space for him in my life. 

[losingmyself]

Congratulations, Stillrise!
Wishing you peace and happiness

[blunk]

Congratulations. It truly is a wonderful feeling to be free!

[Poison Ivy]

Congratulations!

[SonofThunder]

A huge congratulations to you and I tip my hat to your strength and persistence.  Truly a remarkable self rescue for you and your children.

SoT

[pushit]

Congratulations!!!

And very well said!  It's impossible to explain what it's like to end a relationship with a PD (especially w/ kids involved), you have to experience it for yourself.  It's much more than just a divorce, it's like a rebirth that begins when you decide you're no longer going to tolerate the disorder in your life.  Speaking for myself, I have no regrets.  Beautiful kids, and today I'm 10x the man I was on our wedding day.

Best wishes to you as you continue the journey to a drama free life.

[JustKeepTrying]

Congratulations!!!  I am so happy for you!

What a journey and you are so strong!

[notrightinthehead]

I am so happy for you!  We all can benefit from your experiences. Thanks for sharing.

[PAY]

Congratulations! Such a journey! And you are so right. We all at some point thought we were in love and had a happy-ever-after. And we do- it's just different and for you, right now as a single person. Thanks always for sharing your story-challenges and victories!

[Kat54]

Congratulations Stillrise, perfectly said evoking what we all have gone through and feel. Wishing you years of well deserved peace and happiness!

[Jsinjin]

So proud of you!!!

[Empie2204]

Stillrise, it´s time to enjoy your life!