Sometimes they really reveal what they feel about themselves

[Hazy111]

I was thinking about my PD father  and sometimes often after a stupid row with my PD mother, he would come into the living room and sit down and stare absent mindingly into the  middle distance (disassociating i now realise)  and say "Youre just a nothing person , youre just a nothing" . Projecting his own feeling about himself outwards.

After my aunt died many years ago my mother (who was very close to her ) and was the only person she would really communicate with outside of the immediate family said to me absent mindingly , "  You dont understand, i wish it was me that died "   She later denied ever saying it and i never mentioned it again.

[blacksheep7]

"Youre just a nothing person , youre just a nothing" .

To whom was he saying this, to you or your M?

[blunk]

My bpdxh used to repeat to himself over and over you're worthless, you're nothing, you're nobody. When he was admitted for a 24 hour hold he told the doctor, that was what the voice in his head told him. When the doctor asked if it was his own voice or someone else's he was unable to answer. I have to admit, that freaked me out more than a little.

[Hazy111]

Blacksheep7, i suspect it was about my mother, as she was out of earshot and was usually after a row of some sort in the kitchen.

The thing being was that she had  obviously criticised him and he therefore had suffered a "narcissistic injury" and   his fragile psyche was momentarily shattered and he felt "like a nothing person". This is an intolerable feeling for the narcissist, he reverses the situation,  so he projects and verbalises outwards. Im not a nothing person , you are!

I forgot to add, if i was watching the TV at the same time, he would change the channel in his frustration and if i complained he would reply "Its my TV, I pay for it !"

[Call Me Cordelia]

Oh my goodness my uNF would do the exact same thing with the TV. He would just stand in front of the screen and growl for me to get out of his favorite spot on the couch. Just, "Off."

[Hazy111]

Sorry to carry on, but the relevance of the "My TV" comment is that this is a momentary eye opener to what he felt  about all objects.

The car, the house, the clothes we wear. the food we eat, the cat . Theyre his, not ours, not the familys. His and by extension , us, we are his. Thats why in later years so many people struggle with their narc parents , we are theirs, we dont really exist as separate people.

[escapingman]

My covert uNDP wife would loudly keep telling her sorts when she is a mood or having been injured. Come on *her name*,all you are good for is cleaning. Nobody likes you. You useless shit. Acting like all this is said to her by me or the kids, then getting angry with us pretending we said it. Scary....

[SonofThunder]

My uPDfather will reveal his inner self valuations during his periodic bouts with depression, which can be common among PD's.  I look at depression and also when folks are faced with their own pending death as similar to trees in the fall.   

Both my uPDfather and now deceased uPDmil, reveal(ed) their inner self like the leaves of trees in the fall that stop producing chlorophyll and the green gives way to their true hues.  When my father is depressed, his true inner colors (that have been masked by PD) come out in full display, and he self loathes and also his personality softens.   When my uPDmil was in her last 3 months of lung cancer, she did the same thing.  It seems that these fortified facades that PD's erect in order to hide, can come crashing down in these extreme circumstances. 

SoT

[blacksheep7]

Blacksheep7, i suspect it was about my mother, as she was out of earshot and was usually after a row of some sort in the kitchen.

The thing being was that she had  obviously criticised him and he therefore had suffered a "narcissistic injury" and   his fragile psyche was momentarily shattered and he felt "like a nothing person". This is an intolerable feeling for the narcissist, he reverses the situation,  so he projects and verbalises outwards. Im not a nothing person , you are!

I forgot to add, if i was watching the TV at the same time, he would change the channel in his frustration and if i complained he would reply "Its my TV, I pay for it !"

Nice compliment     You are right about that, projection layed thick.   

As for the tv, my NF  would also do that....he had to watch the news back then when it played only at a certain time, late evening but would fall asleep.  Plus, I had paid for the new coloured tv. 

Sorry to carry on, but the relevance of the "My TV" comment is that this is a momentary eye opener to what he felt  about all objects.
The car, the house, the clothes we wear. the food we eat, the cat . Theyre his, not ours, not the familys. His and by extension , us, we are his. Thats why in later years so many people struggle with their narc parents , we are theirs, we dont really exist as separate people.
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Control, control, control     They are all the same.