Home maintanence - need support

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square

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Home maintanence - need support
« on: June 13, 2021, 04:09:26 PM »
I guess Iíll start my own thread because I find I am really stuck.

Have a home repair project that is in single digit thousands. A lot for me but not a major project for others, or contractors.

Have put it off for years. It MUST be done.

I seem to have zero emotional energy to tackle it. Every setback shuts me down.

I described elsewhere how a contractor came to take measurements for a quote and then never quoted or responded at all. And another one who we knew personally and had hired before was a no show/no call on the appointed day.

With encouragement from here, I went on Angieís List to find someone to try again. I live in a rural area. Angieís List had only one possible match, 100 miles away. No way. If it was like a full remodel, maybe. But this is small. They arenít going to drive 3.5 hours each way for this little thing - not at a cost we could afford, anyway.

Well, I know there is SOMEONE around here but I feel utterly exhausted again. I am not resilient about this for some reason.

I hate talking on the phone. Lots of anxiety.

My house sucks. Iíd have to spend a few days cleaning necause of my fatigue. Canít just do a four hour marathon and get it done, an hour a day and have to recover. And there is nothing I can do about the yard, not one thing.

The anticipation of another setback makes the whole thing even heavier. Will it cost even more than I fear? Another no show, back to square one?

Iím leaving for 6 weeks. Itís not a good time now. It would have been perfect if I had it scheduled for this period of time though.

I donít know whatís wrong with me.

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Andeza

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2021, 04:26:41 PM »
You're dealing with all the crap in life and this on top of it is just the straw breaking that poor camel's back. Nothing wrong with you. From what you've described here, I see why no one has stuck around to do the work. The drive. For most contractors, time is money. A long drive is a profit loss. DH used to charge a trip fee for anything more than 45ish minutes away to cover his time and vehicles expenses rather than say no. Some people chose to pay it.

Square might I inquire as to the nature of the necessary repair? If you'd rather not make it public, you can message me. I'm just curious what it is that you're struggling to find a capable contractor. Also, I may have some resources to offer depending on the type of work you need.

About the cost. Many contractors are not touching and won't even look at anything less than five digits right now. It's not a fair situation.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

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square

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2021, 04:38:57 PM »
The contractor who came but did not quote, I suspect decided against the drive. They were about 1h 15m away. But they knew that before coming to do the quote.

The one who didnít even show for the quote lives 10 minutes away, in my zip code. I suspect he has way bigger fish to fry but instead of leaving me hanging he could have just said he was booked solid.

Iíll PM you, and anyone else who cares, about the project, which is no big thing but Iím just shy of posting that bit. Paranoid.

I see that this year is weird for stuff what with reopening. My kid needs a tooth remived and they wonít even schedule her.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2021, 04:41:19 PM »
This might be self-defense, but as a person in a somewhat similar situation, I'm going to say there's nothing wrong with you. It is hard to work on something (hiring an affordable worker) when there is no guarantee of success and it feels as though we have little control. I decided to give myself a few days off from contacting more contractors, I posted on Facebook and asked for (and received) recommendations, and I'm trying to get into a better head space about the process.

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Cat of the Canals

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2021, 06:21:03 PM »
I have that same phone anxiety, and it's even further complicated because I don't like people in my house, so my reward for making the dreaded call is to let strangers tramp about and make noise and messes in the one place I feel truly safe.  :sadno: I constantly put this stuff off because of that.

And it is SUPER frustrating to get up the gumption to make the calls and then have everyone flake on you. I'm in that place right now.

So I get it. I have to remind myself that it's OK to be really stressed out over something that might be "no big deal" for someone else. Be kind to yourself.

Do you have Nextdoor in your area? There are handymen on mine (though we're not quite so rural) that are often looking for leads. Another possibility would be posting a "wanted" listing on Craigslist.

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Andeza

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2021, 06:44:43 PM »
Many handymen also work with Craigslist by posting in the services section. Cheap advertising and often pays for itself. They also use companies like home advisor (think that was the one), but home advisor itself sucks. Just be aware. Good people can work for it, but it itself is not so good.

If I could teleport DH to help yall out for a weekend, I would. :tongue2:

I hate the phone. I love calling people I love, like DH, but companies...meh. I need to schedule a delivery of garden soil, but that requires a phone call, and so I'm putting it off. Think I'll have to tomorrow, regardless.

And of course, the climate in the service industry is really weird right now. Good luck to all on your projects! And sometimes, honestly, the DIY route is less painful than anticipated.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

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square

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2021, 07:16:13 PM »
Thanks!!!!
Andeza, I just submitted a contact form for a group next town over! Itís Sunday so weíll see if they call me back tomorrow or Iíll call them.

Ball rolling again, thanks to you guys.

Wishing serenity and motivation for everyone who needs it.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2021, 07:23:03 PM »
I definitely could use some serenity and motivation. Thank you.

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Andeza

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2021, 08:04:24 PM »
Unfortunately high demand in this industry is compounded by lack of interest in the field from younger folks. So, essentially, handymen are aging out over time with no replacements. Same with contractors. Bad situation all around for those that need help to get it done.

Wishing you the best square!
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

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Associate of Daniel

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2021, 02:00:09 AM »
Do you have any trade schools nearby?

Schools that give courses in trades to teens as opposed mainstream final years of school.

They might be on the lookout for skill building opportunities for their students, under the supervision of their teachers who are qualified tradespeople.

I've no idea how it would work but it would surely cut the costs.

AOD

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square

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2021, 04:16:12 PM »
I hope noone minds some incredibly minir updates here. I am trying to keep motivation up to get this done, mainly for DD.

Rhe company I contacted emailed me back offering to refer me elsewhere. I accepted with thanjs, they gave me a name, and I called and left a vm. So I still have the ball rolling.

I realize I should be making multiple contacts but Iím going to be happy with one active attempt for now. Itís waaaaay better than zero.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2021, 04:24:16 PM »
Yay for you! Keeping the ball rolling is very important.

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1footouttadefog

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2021, 06:47:22 PM »
I have had super bad luck with hiring work to be done in my area.

I have worked through it with various tactics.  I hire people to work with my by the hour.  This makes it possible to do jobs I cannot do alone.  I will also let these folks work some smaller projects alone like pressure washing for example.

I have save a lot of money with this approach, then other projects I can afford to pay for top notch workers.

Even then it's hard to fi d the right folks.  I lucked out getting flooring installed recently in a rental.  I mentioned that I needed hardwood in my kitchen redone, the floor and kit hen shop owner gave a reference.

He said you will need to keep calling this guy.  He's good and reasonably priced and stays covered up..... but he works alone and is not a good receptionist for himself.  He will loose numbers and messages so be patient with him and call again he won't mind.

I am sorry you are too tired to get what you want done, I hope things turn around for you soon.  It's tough to be that tired and overbooked day after day.

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square

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #13 on: July 01, 2021, 11:32:20 PM »
Thanks for that input.

Iíll read this thread again in warly August.

I never did hear from the last guy and now Iím out of state for a few weeks.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #14 on: July 13, 2021, 05:39:07 PM »
I had another appointment today for a price quote for my bathroom, and the person said there might be a "worst-case scenario" (involving the ceiling and attic), and I haven't freaked out. Thank you all for being supportive!

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square

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2021, 08:00:21 PM »
Oh boy, yeah, wow.

Good job keeping calm.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2021, 08:10:45 PM »
Thank you, square.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2021, 08:36:14 PM »
The scenario isn't worst case, but I'm feeling cranky about the cost of the projects anyway. I'm trying to talk myself down by reminding myself that if I were still married, I wouldn't be able to get the projects done at all because my husband wouldn't agree and the condition of the house probably would be worse. Sigh.

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square

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2021, 08:50:12 PM »
I hear ya.

It should have all gone differently.

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blacksheep7

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Re: Home maintanence - need support
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2021, 01:15:37 PM »
Late to the conversation but I understand your frustration of getting the job done.

I am in the same situation.  Had our summer planned out to finish the work remaing on the house and then paint the balconies. Since Covid we have been doing renos. A big part of  the clapboards had to be changed all around the house.  Like you Square had much difficulty finding a contractor using a site that I had used before but did not get any answers.  By luck, we went to a specialized warehouse of clapboards and a contrator listened to our conversation and offered himself to do the work.  Good.

Dh fell sick, inflammation of the brain on father's day, rushed to the hospital in intensive care for one week.  At his release he was ordered not to drive and was on sick leave till end of July.   The clapboards were removed as we had other work done before and the new ones were to follow, to be installed.  The balconies had to be moved away from the house as well as a shed in close proximity. 

To make a long story short, dh was not in his right mind because he had never been sick before and couldn't understand why which in return gave him a very short fuse.   He already is an impatient man for some things and others, he has it together. I couldn't talk about the renovations bc in his mind, he hadn't changed and was ready to do the work but reality was he had no energy. He would not listen to anything I said so I obsessed and worried about work that needed a  helping hand. Even  my sil offered to help. Dh has a big ego.   I kept this in me for much to long.  All of this caused me severe Anxiety which I hadn't had in years, to the point that I had to medicate.  He had trouble sitting around at home just watching tv which creating anger in himself and projecting it on to me.

Yesterday he snapped at me bc I didn't understand what he said about something trivial.   The stress of it all is killing me softly.  I realized that I still am afraid to put my foot down and verbalize my anxiety.
I finally told him that I couldn't wait for him to go back to work and that something has to change, his character/anger which is impatience.  This is not the first time.  I think that he is finally getting it cause he's acting all nice.  But for once, he said he was sorry and realized his actions.

I hope I didn't go off track here.
Thanks
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