Social media blackout

[Bunnyme]

I feel like I need to block my stbx and most everyone on social media, or quit altogether.  I still have a few groups I belong to, and would really miss the support I get there.  I also dont know WHY I look at the ridiculous things he posts.  It is triggering for me, yet I keep doing it anyway.  I've been listening to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program podcast, and she talks about being addicted to the drama.  At first I scoffed, but I've been on such a hyper state of awareness and alert for the past couple of years, my body really does feel uncomfortable if there isnt drama.  Like, in the calm, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  It feels like letting go of control (something else I'm working on), which is also hard.  Not like I can control what he posts, but I can feel prepared. 
ETA my childhood was ok for the most part, but I had codependent parents who were always in one crisis or another.  If not my stbx, there is a constant stream of health issues within my family.  I really think it is related

[1footouttadefog]

What the drama stops, I am not in survival mode.  I then have choices and responsibilities that are of my choosing.
Ditto outcomes and consequences.

In some ways the drama mode is like the bell ringing at school and changing classes like a robot.

I run on reptile mode when in crisis and feel little.  So the lack of crisis for me felt like I had a stranger to deal with, that stranger being myself.

[Cascade]

I've thought of leaving social media too but there are certain aspects of it that I'd really miss. My PD husband even manages to annoy me on Fitbit, posting things excessively for attention. And after over 25 years of marriage to my PD husband, I know I'm addicted to the drama, which is sad when I think about it.

[SonofThunder]

I quit all social media about 5 years ago and in hindsight, wish I did earlier.  PD's use social media to create situations of control/expectation.  It is SO freeing to be off and self-eliminated all expectations from everyone. 

Others: "did you see...." 
SoT "No, I'm not on social media"

On birthdays, anniversaries and other similar events, I now have zero expectations on me, except in-person, in which I will 100% control the level to which I respond. 

When on social media prior to my departure, I have faced PD drama for what I said or didn't say, who I friended or didn't friend, events I saw or didn't see and so on...

All expectations have been self-removed and yet another layer of attempted PD control is gone.

SoT

[Simon]

I quit social media a couple of years ago.
Don't miss it at all.

Friends and family who I want in my life have my mobile phone number, and have strict instructions not to pass it on.
Same with Email.

No drama.
No fuss.
And like SOT says, no expectations of me.

Social Media is responsible for a lot of things, and PDs use it to their advantage.
Switch them off, and learn to live in peace.

[Oscen]

If social media is a way for the PDs in your life to get to you (and they know it, and they love it so damn much!), then block, block away I say! Trust that you can deal with any weird behaviour if it comes your way. You don't need to "prepare"; you're best prepared with your emotional energy safely invested in you and your life, not leaking out of you into their drama.

You sound very self aware. Good luck choosing the next thing that's right for you.

[Oscen]

Oh, and I totally relate to being hooked on drama. I'm always watching youtube vids that get me riled up, so I have something to distract me. Tbh, what they say doesn't really bother me, it's just a habit! Without the distraction, I have a whole lot of nothing to face in my life... which could be a peaceful, positive thing, but right now for me, it's scary. A roaring void of potential.

Anyway, best of luck in whatever you decide to do Bunnyme