Ruining Holidays

[Kitbit]

What is it about holidays?!?? I can’t count how many have been ruined by uNPD SO. What is it that triggers them to be so cruel on those days when one is likely to be vulnerable? It’s almost like clockwork. Would value any other perspectives.

[ploughthrough2021]

I have this Xmas event on Xmas eve with my family and yes, every year, I get very stressed by my uNPDw as long as I can remember... It s a potluck so what food to bring, the gifts, etc.  I dread it every year.  I am actually really appreciated that we had an online one last Xmas due to the Pandemic (it was one of the best Xmas I ve had for years).  The Xmas before that, I suggested she prepare a simple dish that she can make which my family appreciates one month before.  On the day of the get together, she did not have an important ingredient (despite me reminding her many times before the day).  I had to go out to the store to get it and all hell broke loose when I came back because it was not the right one.  She literally through a knife at me.  Luckily it was a blunt one and I didn t get a cut.  I am already dreading the next one because it is likely to be an in-person one again

[Simon]

The only Christmas I spent with my BPD ex gf was full of the sullen, moody behaviour that I'd put up with the rest of the year, along with everything else, but there was one thing that stood out.
I knew she had serious issues by then, so I put it down to that, but as I look back now, I'm pretty certain is was said to hurt and gain a reaction.

It was half way through December, and I had just mentioned that during my lunch break in work, I had been "shopping" for a certain person.
My way of letting her know that despite all the crap she was putting me through, I was still putting a lot of effort into buying her Christmas presents.
She looked at me and calmly said "Oh, are we buying each other presents? Looks like I've got some shopping to do!", and carried on doing what she was doing.
That's not what you want to hear from your other half.
Totally said for full impact.
Needless to say, the list of things I planned to buy ended right there, and she just got what I'd already bought.

And people stay with/go back to these people? 

Life's too short to waste on toxic people.

[escapingman]

The number of holidays and occasions ruined by her are just a joke. X-mas is always the same, by the end of the X-mas meal she will lose her temper because of something I haven't done or have done wrong during the day, quite a few times it has ended with food thrown across the kitchen. Our first holiday together she kicked off with me in a restaurant on the first evening, apparently in her world you don't go out and eat on the first night. Our Honeymoon was almost ruined because a lady on the plane informed her that it was the rainy season when we went to the Caribbean (and it started spitting when we were on the beach one day). It always ends up in an argument when it comes to eating when on holiday, no restaurant or food is ever good enough. It's always something wrong, the location, the look of the restaurant, the staff, the other guests, the menu, the food, the drinks, the service and then she randomly picks one restaurant to be the restaurant of a life time and keeps praising that one forever and ever (until they put a foot wrong and she kicks off and then that restaurant is also out of the question).

[ploughthrough2021]

Just realized that by holidays, you may have meant vacations.  Well, that is another ton of pain to deal with. Last cruise, she decided that the food is not good enough and lectured the restaurant staff and also asked to speak to the chef and basically told him that he does not know what he s doing and proceeded to lecture him on how to do things !!! Very embarrassing to say the least.  This weekend I had the first camping trip with my 3 kids and despite things going wrong here and there, we had a blast.  If she was there, it would have been a misery for us all.

[Setmefree2021]

Yup, Every single one for the last 15 years. It's either not to his standard, I spent too much, the kids are hyper, we didnt give enough to his family or others or some other reason he feels he needs to control or be hurt from. Always hurt and running off and has ruined every single holiday and or event. I have as of 1 month ago STOPPED including him on travel, events and celebrations to remove this element of stress from our home.

[Kat54]

I'm soo glad we don't do holidays together anymore. Always a nightmare and now I'm making new happy holiday memories.